ONLY A MOTHER'S LOVE

I was asked to give a talk in church last fall on gratitude..I had the talk all written when I found a notebook that had been mom's. I had never looked at it, I opened it and started reading and got a wonderful surprise..It was a lot of her Relief Society lessons with thoughts and scriptural references. I read it all day and loved reading about her thoughts on testimony, love, kindness,unselfishness and so on. It was like being taught all over again by mom and realizing what a good example she was and still is to us all. I used quite a bit of her words in my talk and then thought a little more about how I have felt this year. This is a little of what I spoke about. "This has probably been one of the most awful years of my life..but I have to say that I have never been blessed as much as I have been this year..I have been keeping a journal of how I feel through this whole process. There have been many sacred experiences, and since you are all involved I want to share a few of these with you. We all have angels looking after us. They heal us, touch us, comfort us with invisible warm hands...I ask myself what will bring their help? And my answer is; asking and then giving thanks. In Hebrews, we read "be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unaware." There are so many people that have touched me during this last year it would take forever to name you all, but one experience I am taking from my journal, written just after a hospital stay last summer. Ever since my parents died, I've always wondered if I would get a feeling of their presence...I would look for it in the Temple and in reading their journals...but just never got the feeling that they were near. I found out differently. When I was in the hospital and feeling so sick, I was lucky, or was it God's design to assign me a nurse named Sarah? She was younger than me. She cared for me in such a sweet loving way for four of the longest days of my life. On about the third night I woke up and it hit me like a ton of bricks that my mom had been there all along...for years. I realized that Sarah's kindness and love was only the kind of love a mother could give. Totally selfless, calm, taking care of any needs and almost anticipating when I wouldn't feel good and take preventive measures. I told Sarah about finally feeling my mom's spirit though her, and then I realized that even though Sarah was a "stranger"...she was the one that brought that spirit with her. There is more to this story, but to keep it short, I will just say that she opened my eyes and I realized that mom's never leave their children, even when we are grown up. Mom had been there all along..and all of you were my angels, loving only as a mother would love her child. As I continued going over my journal I was reminded of all the many things you have done for me. One particular entry says: How many times have I knelt in a prayer of gratitude for friends and family that surround me? I believe that Heavenly Father works through us, we take care of each other. The love that ties us together is a rare thread...it doesn't break. All of you have given of yourselves over and over, just as all mothers do and certainly ours did. A quote in mom's notebook said "The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the roses." I wish I could send you all dozens of roses. We were blessed to have such a wonderful mom and I am glad that I have felt her presence through all of you sisters, daughters, neices, and friends. I wrote a poem for Mother's Day for our Ward a few years ago and I'll wrap this up with it.

MAMA HAD A DRESSER
FOR HER CHINA AND OLD LACE.
SHE STORED MEMORIES IN THOSE DRAWERS,
AND LOVE WAS IN THAT PLACE.

THE DISHES WITH PINK ROSES,
SPOKE OF SUNDAY AFTERNOONS...
I CAN SMELL HER HOMEMADE ROLLS,
AND HEAR THE CLINK OF SPOONS.

THE DINNERS THERE WERE MORE THAN MEALS,
THERE WERE STORIES OF THE PAST.
THE DISHES AND LACE WERE HER MAMA'S..
THEIR LEGACY WOULD LAST.

THAT OLD DRESSER WAS HANDED DOWN TO ME..
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL THE STORY TOLD.
IT'S THE STORED MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER,
FOREVER, IN MY HEART, I'LL HOLD.