Lessons From My Mother

I've been thinking a lot about my mom this week. 

 I had a decision to make and really wanted to talk to her. 

 I would have loved to hear her voice telling me what she thought I should do. 

 As I thought about her I imagined what she would say to me.  

Her most important priority was her family.  I think my mom had a bit of an adventurous streak in her.  

She was the one who killed the spiders, caught the mice, birthed the puppies,

rode on the rides at lagoon and disneyland. 

As the picture above shows she got up on that camel. 

 I'm sure dad was watching, as he did as she took care of the spiders, mice and rode the rides. 

 But she chose to stay at home and take care of us. 

 She was the quiet one, standing back so dad could shine.  

Some people may call that old fashioned in this day and age. 

 I call it unselfish.  

She loved us so much. 

 She was graceful, kind and good. I have tried so hard to be like her and come up short, 

but using her as an example keeps me always striving to be better.  

Thank you mom for leaving little bits of yourself behind.  

Your handwritten letters, your kind acts, your traditions, your love of the gospel and your family.

  When I am troubled or trying to make hard decisions,

 all I have to do is think of you and your life and I usually get my answer.  

You've been gone for a long time..but because of the way you lived your life,

 you will always be with me.   

Pause..and be Happy

I wear a small necklace with the word "psala" engraved on it.

 In Hebrew it means "to pause."  I look at it often as I put it around my neck. 

 It reminds me as I go about my daily activities to stop and recognize what I am grateful for, to be more aware of the beauty  around me.  

In the summer, as I water my flowers it reminds me to stop and look at each one and be grateful for its different shape, color and height. 

 I think how each bloom adds to the beauty of my garden.  

The word reminds me to see the differences in my grandson's as I spend my days with them,

 or the little boys that I teach in my sunbeam class. 

 They all have unique personalities, with different things they want heard. 

 Everything these kids say makes me laugh,

and there might come a day when they will find their friends more interesting than their old grama.  

So I soak everything they have to say and do up.  

It is nice to "pause" and be grateful for these quieter, sweeter days.  

It's been cold and snowing quite a bit. 

 I so want to lay in the sun and feel its warmth on my skin,

yet the snow brings a greener garden and sweet smelling grass. 

 So when I spend my days in the pursuit of happiness it is good to just stop pursuing, 

to pause and just be happy.

Reflections on Summer

I love summer. 

Warm nights, blue skies, beautiful flowers

And most of all, the family gets together. 

 Nick comes home for a few weeks,  the  DeSpain Gang flies out from the East to spend time with us.

  I love when the cousins all get together to play and have fun.

  They've been swimming at the Latimer's, played in our back yard. 

We've been to a Bee's game, a Real game, Draper Days, to Pinedale and back, we've ridden horses, fed a pig. 

 We've been together.

I've seen my flowers grow, sung with my cousins once more,

seen a beautiful rainbow, watched the sunset. 

 Held my little Wren, watched Jim take walks with Dylan,

 see the big boys fish with their Dad. 

 Spent days with Jake, Sam and Dylan, hugging, playing and laughing. 

I've spent time with my family in my lovely home. 

I love summer.

Summer Evenings

 I talked to my Uncle Mel on the phone this afternoon. 

 I love it when he calls. 

It's as if my dad is calling..their voices are so similar. 

 We are looking forward to a family gathering in July. 

As I talked to him about his plans for the reunion my mind is flooded with memories of those summer days when I was young.

  I loved being at my grandma's house sitting in that screened  front porch when it was really hot outside. 

There was an enclosed back porch off the kitchen where she dried her fruit and had bushels of apples. 

Down the steep, old stairs and out the screen door and into the huge backyard you could run down into the orchard. 

 Grandma had beautiful flowers in her yard and Grandpa's corn and cherries were the best. 

 There was a big brick fireplace where we always barbequed and of course, the fishpond! 

 

Grandma and Grandpa enjoyed their lives. 

 They were happy people. 

 Grandma loved the simple things in life..clean sheets hanging on the clothes line,

 freshly baked bread, flowers in her garden, freshly picked raspberries,

 or birds singing in the trees. 

She loved having her family around her. 

 

As I sit in my garden on these hot summer evenings, 

I remember those days. 

 I remember my heritage,

 I remember how valiant my grandparents were..how they loved the gospel,

 how well they faced their challenges and lived their lives. 

 What an example they are to me. 

 By remembering them,

I am encouraged to live a better life.

A Lovely Day

I woke up yesterday to a beautiful sunrise..

and the sight of lilacs and snowballs.

Amazing!

 

 

      Then a visit from Wren and Whitney. 

 A laughing baby, lots of sunshine

 

and  some time in the garden.

What a lovely day.

"It is your Reaction to Adversity..."

These last couple of months we have had our share of adversity. 

When it rains it pours. 

After Jim lost his job we have had many rainy days. 

 But as cheesy as it sounds...the sun always comes out after the rain. 

 For as many down days as we have had..there have been days full of blessings. 

 In February Jim got called to the Bishopbric, which has been a great blessing in our lives. 

 We also had time in February to visit the PA gang which we usually don't do in the winter months.  Each time I go through a difficult time it makes me aware of those around me who have it worse and my compassion for them deepens. 

 Going through adversity continues to strengthen my faith. 

I love this quote. 

 I remember telling my son when he was going through difficult times that when things get really tough, give yourself a day or so to be sad, but then pick yourself up.. start thinking of what you have to be grateful for and get on with life. 

 Have faith that things will work out. 

 Things do work out one way or another. 

 

This last week another bump in the road. 

 My back has gotten to the point where the nerves have made it so I am limping. 

 My left leg is getting more numb and dragging quite a bit. 

 The doctor is worried that some of the damage to my nerves is beyond repair. 

 So I have been a bit down this past week,

 wondering again why..

why is it pouring rain yet again?

And then I go outside

I look at the signs of spring.

I see my lilac blooming

 (the very lilac that Maude gave me for my birthday so many  years ago) 

It thrives and blooms each year reminding me of that sweet lady who taught me to love trees and flowers and nature. 

 I hear the sound of my fountain, so soothing as I fix our evening meal.

I see these beautiful plants waiting to be put in the ground. 

 They will make my garden lovely.

I look out from my front porch and see this view and am uplifted. 

 

So with any adversity that goes on in my life,

 I don't even have to leave my home to find many wonderful things

 to make me grateful that I am alive. 

Things that strengthen my faith, and help me know that all will be well.

Enjoy the Marvelous Journey-a lesson from my mom

These last few days, I've found myself feeling a little down

Life goes along and I feel extremely blessed, yet things do pile up. 

 I can usually deal, but I've got lots to do and then my back flares up and puts me down.

 (literally)

 So irritating..so as I was wallowing I just happened to open a book of my mom's. 

 It was her outline for Relief Society lessons. 

 I just happened to open it to a lesson written just for me

(was this by chance..or is mom watching over me?) 

 

Anyway, as I read through the lesson I could hear my mother as if she was talking to me.

The lesson was titled

 "Making Effective Use of Present Circumstances." 

Basically the lesson teaches us (me) to be happy in the present,

 to not look for something to happen down the road. 

 Mom tells how wise Merlin gave King Arthur good advice when the King was feeling low. 

"The best thing for being sad, said Merlin, is to learn something. 

That is the only thing that never fails." 

 

So I need to stop and ask myself,

 "what am I suppose to learn in my present circumstance?" 

 How can I improve myself and my life right now? 

 

She told of a young girl who was having trouble living in a far away land being newly married. 

 The young girl wanted to give up and come home. 

Her mother wrote her a short message -

"Two men look out from prison bars; one saw mud, the other saw the stars."

The girl realized from this brief message that she needed to change the way she was looking at things and she would be happy.

 

She includes these quotes.  "Oliver Wendell Holmes said:  Many people die with their music still in them.  Why is this so?  Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live.  Before they know it, time runs out.  Tagor expressed a similar thought in these words: I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung."

 

President Kimball, "My plea therefore is this: Let us get our instruments tightly strung and our melodies sweetly sung.  Let us not die with our music still in us.  Let us rather use this precious mortal probation to move confidently and gloriously upward toward the eternal life."

She ends the lesson saying,

 "Our challenge then is to see life as a whole, to discover the wonders of the present and to enjoy the marvelous journey."

She certainly enjoyed every minute of her journey!

I'm grateful to my angel mother who is still teaching me how to live. 

She continues to watch over me, she continues to be an example to me..what a blessing she continues to be in my life.

"Have I done any Good in the World today?

I found something out yesterday that was rather disappointing. 

 For years I thought I was my Aunt Ginny's favorite niece. 

 I thought I had a special bond with her that no one else had.

I went to her funeral yesterday and spent the day with many cousins and friends of my Aunt Ginny's, and I find out that they were also her favorite..

and that many had that special place in her heart. 

( Even though secretly I know that it was me that was her favorite, I will let the others go on believing that they were.) 

 

Aunt Ginny was special, because of the very thing I'm talking about. 

 She made everyone feel special. 

never seemed like she was in a hurry when she was talking to you

She was interested in what was going on in your life. 

It was because she truly loved those that she came in contact with and made the time to make them feel of her love. 

 Aunt Ginny taught me this valuable lesson. 

She always had time for me..as well as the many others demanding her attention. 

 

She taught me that people were more important than things and she constantly gave of herself.

 

 

She taught me that being cheerful and happy, regardless of our circumstances is a choice.

 

 

She taught me to remind myself to think of others, to go out each day and find some way to improve somebody else's life, rather than thinking about my own.

 

She really made me think. 

I want those I love to know that they are my favorites. 

 I want to make sure that I take the time to cherish family and friends. 

 

 

It's a good question. 

 

It's never too late to set goals, to improve to strive to be better.

I'm grateful for a wonderful family who are examples to me.

Each one helps me want to live a better life.

 

 

 

Reflections on Age

In a little over six weeks I will be turning 60. 

 I've decided it's time to let go of a few things that I don't think are going to happen. 

 I don't think I will ever be one of those lovely tall(??) skinny elegant women who age gracefully with long, beautifully greying hair. 

 I don't think I'll ever get my shelves relined,

 I don't know that I'll ever sit leisurely by a pool reading papers...

and I don't think my kitchen will ever look like the picture above. 

 It's time to accept myself as I am today. 

This young girl is gone. 

 Gone is the tiny figure, the smooth skin, the energy that a younger woman has.  

 

 Although this may seem somewhat depressing and a bit sad, it truly isn't. 

 For as I've aged I've been learning lessons. 

 I've been taught by the those I am closest to.

My friendships are more precious because we've known one another for so long and been through so much together. 

 Each relationship I have deepens as the years go by. 

 As I make mistakes I gain wisdom and hopefully strive to become a better person. 

 I feel that I am a much more compassionate person than that young girl was..she hadn't really been tested yet. 

 

 Growing older isn't so bad if you think about what has been gained (and if you don't look at old pictures). 

 Growing older is about  acceptance.  There's always room for improvement. life certainly isn't over yet..but it's good to learn to be happy with the way things are.. being content, appreciating the wisdom gained and all the lessons learned.  Enjoying simple things..taking time to be grateful for all the blessings I have been given.  Enjoying my beautiful grandchildren.  Having perspective.  Knowing what is important. 

"Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within."

 

~Mary Lou Cook

What a wonderful world

This past week has been amazing.  We have had so much fun being with the gang back here in PA.  They are such good kids.  Busy with all the activities that boys are involved with.  Basketball, soccer, getting ready for baseball.. school, church.  They have good friends.  It is nice to sit back and watch their comings and goings, to be apart of it all for a few short days.  

This past weekend has been really special.  As I sat in James and Becky's ward Relief Society and enjoyed the lesson given (i don't get to relief society often as i spend my time with the sunbeams back home) I was so touched.  The subject was "See Others as They May Become."  This beautifully given lesson taught how we should see past issues people might have and see their potential set the stage for events that would happen later in the evening.  

After church we went to a party for James' boss.  It was his birthday.  There were tons of people there, none that I knew, but I was immediately impressed by their friendliness, their close family ties and how quickly they made us feel apart of the group.  Immediately upon arrival we were met and greeted by our host and hostess and every other family member and made to feel so welcome.  I found myself sitting by our host's mother in law and an aunt.  These women were so kind and gracious.  The aunt and I talked almost the whole time we were at the party and I was amazed by how much we had in common.  We came from different backgrounds, religions, geographical locations, yet in just a short time a bond was created and I felt a true love for this woman.   

I have also been following the facebook page "Whatever it Takes"  telling the story of our friend Chricker Hallsey's son, Tyer who has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  The courage that they have as they face this trial is amazing.  Watching the support of wonderful friends, family and total strangers is uplifting and makes we want to be a better person.  

So I have been uplifted these past few day.
 I am grateful we were able to be here.
Grateful for the experiences we have had while we were here,
 grateful for a renewed sense of goodness in the world.
 Grateful for friends who see my potential,
and in spite of myself... love me anyway.
 Because of their love,  because of the goodness of others,
I want to be better.
It truly is a wonderful world.

My Gratitude Journal

I have always tried to be positive, to show gratitude for all that I have.  It is something that is a part of who I am.  This past month I have been slipping a bit and need to recommit myself.  There are many things in my life that I cannot personally control.  I can try to remain healthy, but when illness hits, there is nothing to do but ride it out.  When some kind of adversity hits that is beyond my control,  I must also do the same.  When I feel down, there is nowhere to go but up.  When I feel hurt, it is up to me to get rid of those hurt feelings and think of someone else, someone who is in worse circumstances, then go and do something for them.  My feelings and the way I look at things are truly the only things I can control.  
So, I feel that I need to strive to pick myself up.  I need to remember back to when I was ill, when I thought that I would never be able to do anything again without my oxygen, and then realize how far I've come.   I need to go back to writing down the simple things I am grateful for.  I remember sometimes it was just that "the sun was out."  Yet what a miracle that is!  It is hard to get rid of the negatives and focus totally on what is good in this life.. yet there are so many things that are good.

1-The beautiful snow
2- A warm house
3- A comfortable bed
4- clean sheets
5- feather pillows

It's a start.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~Melody Beattie