I Love being a Mom

I love being a Mom. 

 How could a mother be so blessed to be given the opportunity to have such great kids. 

 Having children can be a difficult, exhausting job, but it is also the most noble and grand adventure that a woman can ask for.

  I chose to have five children. 

 I have been blessed over and over again with the birth and life of each child.  

What I have done for them is nothing  compared to what they have given me.  

I always felt it was important to give my kids a feeling of security and warmth as they moved forward in their lives. 

 I had that growing up and I wanted them to have that same sort of childhood.  

My thoughts wander to summer time.  

(The best time to make memories)  

We spent many longs days at the racquet club.  Oh, those lazy fun days when we'd pack up a lunch and a few snacks and be gone for hours.  

Swimming, getting their little bodies warm by laying on the hot cement, that creamy frozen yogart. 

 Packing up to go home just in time for little league or a game of kick the can.  

I've never done anything that noteworthy, I've never been in the limelight.  

But I have rocked and sung to my children. 

 I have taken them swimming, played with them and watched them grow in to adulthood, 

cheered and encouraged them.

  I have loved them.  

I have been a mom. 

 I would rather sing and tell stories to my kids and grandkids than to any audience in the world. 

 When I feel my little grandson's arms wrap around my neck, 

when they cuddle in my lap and entertwine their little fingers in mine and say "hold me grama polly", I think my decision all those years ago.

 That of being a mother.

 It  may have been the hardest, most exhausting, most heartbreaking, ..most rewarding experience. 

 I chose wisely.

Happy Birthday Ty!

It all started 39 years ago today. 

We spent the summer in Logan, waiting for Tyler's arrival. 

 He got here in about an hour! 

We were so excited to have a little brother for Jamey. 

Tyler's big brown eyes and easy going ways made him a very easy baby and also an easy child. 

As he grew it was evident that his main interest was sports.

  He learned to read from Sport Illustrated and the sports page in the newspaper. 

 He loved baseball, basketball, and golf. 

 He excelled in all of these sports. 

 He has always been a good and loyal friend.

He's the most generous person I know.

Tyler has a great sense of humor and

likes to think he's the favorite! 

Well, today you can be the favorite. 

 

A happy birthday from mom to Ty..who loved his gramps, loves his wife

 and his wonderful little boy. 

 Hope you have a great year.

Happy Mothers Day to Becky, Melanie, Abby and Whit!

Wishing a happy Mothers Day to these beautiful moms. 

 They are amazing women.  They are raising amazing children. 

They are so busy, yet always realize what is most important and that is those kids. 

 I am so grateful for them and am happy to be apart of their lives. 

"The mother memories that are closest to my heart are the small gentle ones that I have carried over from the days of my childhood. 

They are not profound, but they have stayed with me through life,

 and when I am very old,

 they will still be near..Memories of mother drying my tears,

 reading aloud, cutting cookies and singing as she did,

 listening to prayers I said as I knelt with my forehead pressed against her knee,

tucking me in bed and turning down the light. 

They have carried me through the years and given my life such a

firm foundation that it does not

rock beneath flood or tempest."

 

~Margaret Sanger

 

This is exactly what these girls are doing as they take care of my grandchildren.  The same things that my mother did for me.  The small things that form a firm foundation as little children grow into adults. 

Happy Mothers Day to

Becky, Melanie, Abby, and Whitney

 

June Bagley-Happy Mothers Day to my mom

It's been a busy day.. I've been out in the garden, loving the sun and having my hands in the dirt. 

 But as I finally have a few minutes to myself, I think of my mom. 

 It's not just on Mother's Day that I think of her.

  I think of her almost every day.  I miss her every day. 

 I was blessed to have a wonderful mother. 

She taught me by her example

She dedicated herself to being a wife, mother and homemaker. 

Her home was always lovely. 

 Holidays were especially fun around our home as she put her special touches everywhere. 

 Even casual meals were special, nothing ever just thrown out on the table. 

 Always beautiful dishes set on a placemat with a cloth napkin and silverware. 

 There was always a warm feeling in our home. 

 I feel this came from the love that was felt there. 

Happiness met you as you came through the door.  

 

 I am so grateful for the relationship I had with my mom. 

 She wasn't just my mom, she was my best friend. 

We would talk for hours on the phone and visit together when ever we got the chance. 

 I am grateful for all the many lessons she taught me,

 for the way she lived, for her example,

her testimony,

her dedication to my dad and to us

 (her children).  

 

"Your arms were always open when I needed a hug. 

Your heart understood when I needed a friend. 

 Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. 

 Your strength and love has guided me and gave me wings to fly." 

 

~Sarah Malin

 

Happy Mothers Day

I love you always..

polly

Kerry's Baby Shower

Today we had a baby shower for my niece Kerry. 

What a beautiful day for a party! 

 It is always fun to get together with my sisters and their girls. 

Kerry, Austin and their baby boy were being honored.

  Can't believe the little girl that I used to take to kindergarten, read to and play with

is going to be a mother. 

As the family started to filter in I soon realized that there were probably more babies in attendance than adults. 

How much fun is it to see all these girls with their kids.

There were a few grown ups! 

What a great bunch!

I cleaned my house and they arrived with all the delicious food. 

 Whitney and Marta did a fabulous job with invites and clever theme ideas to make this day special for Kerry. 

Can't wait to see this new little addition to the clan!

Extraordinary Women

 I was reading in my book "Daughters in my Kingdom." 

The first paragraph in that book is the best as it talks about  examples of ordinary women who accomplish extraordinary things as they exercise their faith.  I have been blessed to be surrounded by such women. 

You don't hear about these women in magazines, newspapers, or movies.

  These are real women, who have amazing stories, who live life with courage and faith. 

 They overcome heartbreak and discouragement and come through stronger. 

They are beautiful because of the way they live and meet their challenges.

From Grama Bagley I may not have learned the art of quilting or stitching

 (that skipped generations to my daughters),

but I feel a kinship with her when I think about home, children and church.

Here is a quote from her journal,

 where she describes her feelings when she is about to lose her home.

 "I have become attached to this place. I love the flowers, trees, and shrubs we have struggled to raise from a veritable rock pile. As president of the mutual I have attended five sessions of the annual conference. I have mixed emotions. It was an inspiration to hear Elder Widtsoe say, 'I am as clay in the hands of a potter.' Now I know it is my duty to forget material things and respond to the call and do the will of my Father in Heaven.
It is my desire to do a small amount of good while I am young. If someone could say of me, 'she helped me over a rough spot or helped me catch the spirit of the gospel', I would feel my life had not been in vain. The loss of our home and my human weaknesses make me feel I should resign. Then I realize it is an opportunity and I would be cheating myself of growth in our church which means more than anything else."
Another entry in October of 1936 "
Many things and events have impressed me and helped my testimony to grow. Not long ago, our three sons all passed the sacrament together. It gave me a feeling I could not describe. I wish then that I could write a poem describing my inner most gratitude for 3 fine sons.
"Not long after this my grama and grampa lost their oldest son, Alan to a heart ailment, that he had struggled with for years. One night when Alan was very ill a young man in the ward, Lamont Gunderson,

 came over to give him a blessing.

He told them later that he was about to bless Alan that he would get better, but felt inspired to end with a plea for the Lord to take Alan, that his suffering would be brief.

Alan passed away very quietly that night while being held in his dad's arms.

 He was 18 years old.

 A year later grama wrote:

"Here it is a year since Alan left us. It is as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. Oh the heartache. Only a mother who has had a similar experience can know the feeling. The tears flow as freely because of the wound which is as deep as the day he left. It is not in my power to describe my emotions to lose one so fond of life. He brought so much joy into our home. Now it is like trying to go full speed on three wheels or some such impossible thing."

 

Grama had other problems to deal with in her life. 

 But she rose to the occasion.  She handled them with grace. 

 Always being there for her family.  Family was the most important thing to her.  She was a simple woman.  She learned early to serve others. 

 She was an ordinary woman who was extraordinary.

 

Another extraordinary woman is my sister, Jolyn.

 

She's the youngest in our family.  She became a widow at the age of forty one. 

She has four children. 

 At this young age she realized she had to reinvent herself. 

She has been an example of strength and generosity to the members of our family. 

Giving back to the Hospital that tried so hard to save her husband's life. 

 Always smiling.. I'm sure she get's down, but seldom does she show it to anyone. 

 As her children have grown and left home, she's had to start over again. 

She's stays busy by serving in the church,
 loving and playing with grandchildren and exploring the world. 

She is the most adventurous woman I know. 

Travelling the world..nothing slows her down. 

 She is a woman of a different time,
but much like our grandmother she rises to the occasion,
 through service, through her faith,
 she is extraordinary. 

 

As I write this post I can think of countless others and will probably post about them in weeks to come.
 These women keep me going.
They go about their lives without much fanfare.
 They just go out there and get things done,
 because they love their families..because they love the Lord, because they have faith,
 because they are righteous.

 

"In any and every age of the world when God has called or commanded man or a people to perform a certain work, they through determination and perserverance, and faith in him, have been enabled to accomplish it."

 

~Wilford Woodruff

Gardens and Children

I have almost finished the last of the planting, adding a few new varieties to see how they will do.  I lost one of my big vines and feel as though I've lost a dear friend.  This is my favorite time of the season, to have worked hard planting and then to sit back and watch things grow.  To take care of these plants, to see which ones have trouble getting along...there are those you have to help a little more along the way, until they burst into their full bloom and glory.  Some plants just take off and do fine without any sort of encouragement except a little water. 
Maybe I like gardening so much, because I like to see things grow.  Sometimes the flowers surprise me by being a different color than I had expected, but that color is usually more beautiful than the one I picked out.  Gardens are like raising children.  You plant seeds, you care for them, you watch them grow, you help the ones that are having trouble, and take pleasure when that troubled flower starts flourishing.
I am a gardener.  In the past when I have encountered disappointment, I can become discouraged.  I second guess myself, thinking what else could I have done?  Could I have been more attentive to my flowers?  Could I have cared for them any better?  Sometimes things happen in gardens that are beyond the caretaker's control.  To enjoy one's garden all you can do, is be willing to plant the seeds, nourish and care for them, then stand back and see what happens.  I have learned a few things as a gardener. I am more at peace as the seasons come and go.  It is what it is.  I do what I can.  I can't change the weather.  I can't change my abilities - my health, my strength, my age.  I can just try.  I love my garden.  I can just plant the flowers, care for them nourish them, love them, and enjoy them.  They are, after all God's creations. 
I am just the gardener.  

I Know Nothing...

When I was young I thought I knew everything about everything.  

I was quite positive I knew everything about marriage, raising children, and my faith.  

Of course this was before I was married, had children or knew anything about anything.  

When I had my children I was somewhat of an earth mother.  

Feeling that natural childbirth was the only way, and of course any person who was medicated in any way was not quite up to par.  

I was a militant Le Leche (nursing mother) member. 

 Going to meetings - well I guess they were support groups,

 but I think if there had been a march somewhere I would have marched. 

 If you didn't nurse your child, you were just not a very good mother, 

and your child surely wouldn't be well adjusted or healthy. 

 (oh how judgmental, I was). 

 In Relief Society I always sat on the front row, 

hand raised offering answers and opinions on all subjects, 

wondering why the older ladies sat on the back row, 

usually sitting very quietly with amused (or dazed) expressions on their faces. 

I had the world figured out and I could do just about anything.  

My oldest child was about six.  

My oldest child is now almost thirty nine. 

 I have learned that I know nothing. 

 I think it first dawned on me years ago during a family home evening. 

 I was part of a family home evening group.  

We prepared six of the same lesson,

 took them to the group and came home with six different beautifully prepared lessons.  

I was giving one of these lovely lessons,

 and the children were not listening as attentively as I thought they should,

 I got upset and left the room. 

 I went downstairs, and started to paint.  

But their laughter brought me back upstairs, 

Jim had them gathered around, all five, playing poker!  

They were having a great time -

 at the end of their game, they ended with prayer and had refreshments! 

At that point I quit the home evening group.

 I decided I might look at Family Home Evening from a different angle. 

  I moved back a few rows in Relief Society. 

 I didn't answer as many questions and listened more. 

 I started asking questions and found that those ladies on the back row know a lot more than they were letting on.  I found that each child has a different way of learning and communicating. 

 I found that my way isn't the only way. 

 I found that babies live when fed by a bottle and that it is actually really nice for the mother to have a break now and then while someone else cuddles her little one. 

 I found that epidurals are the only way to have a baby.  

I found that the back row in Relief Society is the perfect place to sit.  

I can sit quietly with a dazed look on my face, while everybody else answers the questions. 

 I've found that humor and faith are the things that get me through and that most things work out 

- eventually. 

 I've found that there are tons of ways to be a good mom,

 as many ways as there are moms. 

It all comes down to loving those little ones, and enjoying each moment with them. 

I've found that the answers are learned along the way through experiences.  

I learned that marriage is a journey where I discover new things about my husband

 each year, each week, each day,

 and I have to continually learn to improve myself, to be a better person,

 to stay interesting, loving and unselfish.

  I learned that I was not the teacher to my children, for they taught me far more than I taught them. 

 I would never have learned compassion, service, unconditional love, joy, heartache, gratitude, but for my kids. 

 Yet I still wonder, I still don't know the answers, I don't know much, 

 I still just hang on and laugh a little at that young girl who knew so much.  

She was young and idealistic, which is good. 

 Her faith had not been tested. 

 I know one thing about her though, 

she knew everything about her faith then. 

That faith has been tested, with many tests to come,

 and even though I know nothing about anything else,

 of that Faith I am still sure. 

The Last Word

Today in church we heard alot about mothers. Many times these meetings can leave me with mixed feelings. Some Mother's Days I feel that all is well with the world and I love everything I hear. Other years I feel that I have come up short and have feelings of regret over things I could have done better. It's a mothers way. That feeling of trying and feeling good sometimes and other times not up to task. The point is to always keep trying. Which even when I get down in the dumps, is what I try to do. These five darlings have always kept me going. During the lesson in Relief Society today our teacher talked about how her mother's dying thoughts were about her daugher. Which I think is probably true for most mothers. Our thoughts always turn to our children. We want what is best for them, we want them to be safe and happy. There isn't a day that goes by that these five and their families aren't in my thoughts and prayers. They are my world, I am grateful I was given the great opportunity to be a mother. I may not always live up to their expectations, but I will continue to try.

Ramblings on Motherhood

artwork by Robert Duncan

I always wanted to be a mom, ever since I was young. And I became a mother when I was young, never regretting it. Sometimes I wonder if I could have accomplished more personally if I hadn't had kids so soon, but I don't think so, a mom is what I was meant to be.
I am a sentimental sort. I love my heritage. I love being linked to those who came before. I come from a long line of story tellers and music was always a big part of my family. Family songs and stories passed down generations tie us together. As a young girl I had a good singing voice and was trained by one of the best voice teachers in the city. I would have liked to do more with my voice, but I married and started having children and so my singing was mostly for them. Those songs that I had learned from my grandparents, along with with cousins, brothers and sisters as we sang together on summer evenings in a simpler time, were songs sung to my children as lullabies. Even though my kids may not have sat out in grama's backyard singing under the summer stars, they were linked to her through those songs as they fell asleep in my arms.
I would like to have written a book with all kinds of wonderful life experiences from the past, but, sadly, I am not a writer. Instead I would tell my kids stories of those that came before, hoping to teach them of their heritage through those stories with the hope that they would learn from ancestors who lived lives before they were born.
My thoughts wander to summer time. We spent many long days at a nearby swimming pool. Oh, those lazy fun days when we'd pack up a lunch and a few snacks and be gone for hours. Swimming, getting their little bodies warm by laying on the hot cement, that creamy frozen yogart, packing up to go home just in time for little league or a game of kick the can-summer, my favorite time of year.
As the kids grew I think I spent most of my time driving to and from their school. Taking a forgotten lunch or assignment, picking up someone who was sick, dropping someone off who was no longer sick, going back for a game, but it was all good. The conversations about the day in the car were priceless. When else could I talk to a teenager all alone, one on one, except in the car coming or going to school?
I was told recently that I was a bit of a disappointment. My answer to that is: I may have disappointed, but I have never been disappointed by being a mother. Did I do anything Big, or important? Have I become a famous singer or writer? Am I well known? No! But I have rocked and sung to my children. I have taken them swimming, played with, driven them to, watched them grow, cheered and encouraged them. I have loved them. I have been a mom. I would rather sing and tell stories to my kids and grandkids than anyone else in the world. When I feel my little grandson's arms wrap around my neck, when they cuddle in my lap and entertwine their little fingers in mine and say "hold me grama polly" as I sing those old family songs, I think of that decision I made all those years ago. Being a mother may be the hardest, most exhausting, most heartbreaking....most rewarding experience. I chose wisely,

I love being a mom.