Aging- A Glorious Secret

"There's this youth culture...it really discards people once they reach a certain age.  I actually think that people are so powerful and interesting - women, especially - when they are older.  We've got so much to say, but popular culture is so reductive that we just talk about whether we've got wrinkles, or whether we've put on weight or lost weight, or whether we've changed our hairstyle.  I just find that shallow."  ~Annie Lennox

Not so in this neighborhood where I live surrounded by so many incredibly elegant, talented women. They are so beautiful in so many different ways.  It is because of how they have lived and what they have lived through.  Their beauty radiates through their eyes and in their smiles.  They have accumulated wisdom that only life can give you.  I find great comfort being around these lovely women.  

I have been walking in the early mornings with a few of these 'girls'.  

January can be cold when you live so close to the mountains, but we get up early and get ourselves moving!  One of our group has had a stroke, two have pacemakers, one of those nearly died before she got hers, and I couldn't breathe for three years.  

We have always cared for each other during those times, and also during emotional upsets.  

And so we marvel that we are out walking at all! 

 We notice the blue sky, the sun when it comes out from behind the mountains. 

 We notice every beautiful thing as we walk, because we have lived and we are so grateful for each other, for our surroundings and for the fact that we are actually walking!  Oh, what a wonderful world.  How much better to be on this end of things. To know what we know. 

 It's almost like having a glorious secret. We'd like to share it with our younger sisters, friends, daughters... but we can't.  

For they must live it. 

 Then they will know.

  "Growing old is a mandatory process. For women, for a period of time, we might even resist aging as we try our hardest to fight off wrinkles and hang on to the physical beauty of our faces.  Yet, getting old is a natural process where things are slowing down, and you'll begin to see that the sparkle in your heart and the twinkle in your eyes make you beautiful in a way that's not achievable in youth. 'Age' is the acceptance of a term of years.  But maturity is the glory of years."

Simple Blessings

I am  grateful for the simple things.

  I could go on forever about the simple blessings that enrich my life. 

 I just have to sit out in my garden for a few moments as the sun goes down,
 feeling the autumn air as it turns my leaves from green to dark yellow and red.

I just have to snip the last flower from my
 garden to brighten up a spot on my table.

I just have to look at the changing seasons, knowing with a surety that spring will come again, as it always does.
And while I wait I will enjoy the fall colors and the winter snow. 

Simple blessings surround me.
My husband's love, a call from a son or daughter, feeling small arms around my neck from a little one, soup from a dear friend, my lovely home, the beauties of nature.
 Simple is what my life is made up of.
 I count these blessings each day.

Two Ways to Live Life

I heard a quote by a very wise young man the other day. 

 He was talking about answers to prayer. 

 He said,

 "There are two ways to live life... 

One way, is as if nothing is a miracle... another way, is as if everything is a miracle."

All I have to do is look around me,

and I realize that

 "Everything is a miracle."

A Visit With Some Fine Ladies

When I need a bit of uplifting or feel a little tired, I sometimes feel the need to talk to my mother or one of my grandmothers.  

They were so comforting.  They also had a lot of wisdom.  

They lived through a lot, but somehow always managed to stay upbeat, kind, and loving. 

 What a great example the were to me. 

 Fortunately for me I have bits and pieces of them. 

 Not just my memories, but tangible things that remind me of them.  

Some of those things are fairly valuable, but the most priceless things are their handwriting.  

I feel their thoughts bring me closer to them than any "thing" they left behind. 

 Grandma Bagley's journal is full of inspiring stories of how she lived through the depression, the loss of her beloved oldest son, and then the war when she sent her two remaining sons.  

What strength she had.  Her testimony of the gospel is a constant in her life and something I will always respect and love her for, because of the way she lived her life. 

 Grandma Lundgren was just as strong and had such a cute sense of humor which is evident in her little notes stuck into books.  I love her remarks on life!!

 And of course there is my mom, who's love of her family, respect for her heritage and her testimony guided me gently throughout my life.  

I love to see her thoughts written down in her distinct handwriting.  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me today!! 

I Went from Sunbeams to Choir Director!! OH NO!!!

When I was a little girl, my grandmother was in our ward.  I remember sitting by her in church.  As she sung the hymns she would point to the alto line and have me sing along with her.  It is my first memory of singing.

I've always loved to sing.  I sang while my dad played the piano.  I loved to belt out "Won't you come Home Bill Bailey," or "Show Me the Way to Go Home."  I sang in the church choir from the time I was twelve and always in school choirs.  When I was fifteen I was the youngest member of the Mormon Youth Choir.  

.  As I've said,  I've always loved singing.  

When we moved to this ward 36 years ago I immediately joined the choir. 

 It has been a blessing in my life.  This ward has the best ward choir around!  So many talented musicians living so close to one another.  

What a blessing.

I love to sing, but am not a great musician.  I never was good at timing.  I've always had to sit next to my neighbor, Betty, so I could follow her and get my notes right.  

And I hate to be in front of people.  I like to be in the back. 

 (I'm short, so it's easy to get lost among the taller choir members.)

Singing in the choir is my joy.

Not standing in FRONT!!!!

After teaching five little boys in my Sunbeam class I didn't think I would find 

a calling more challenging ..

But my new calling is much more challenging, terrifying, headache giving than any five boys in any Sunbeam class could ever be!!!  

I am now the Choir Director in our Ward. 

Nothing prepared me for this!  

I felt that I could do most callings in the church with my eyes closed.  

Well, I certainly can't close my eyes in this calling..except when I'm praying, which will be all the time now.  

The one thing I am sure of.  Heavenly Father is there for us when we are serving Him.  

(I'm counting on it!)

A Letter to my Parents

A letter to my parents,

Well, Mom and Dad..It's been quite a while since you've been with us.  Lots has happened.  You taught us so well by the way you lived.  You were loving, funny and unselfish.  You were devoted to the gospel and to your family.  You made a mark on so many lives.  Mom, you in your quiet, graceful, loving way.  And dad, you as the leader, our funny, positive, full of fun dad.  How were we so blessed to be born to you guys?  Since you've been gone, the children have grown, making lives for themselves.  You saw two of Jamey's boys, but since then he and Becky added two more and convinced them all that baseball and golf were the best ways to occupy their time.  

You would love watching them as they excel in their activities.  They are such good boys.  Tyler finally found his true love.  He and Melanie have two beautiful boys, as beautiful as their mother. Tyler treats her just as you treated mom.  (He was trained well).  Abby and Mike are busy with their two boys..(can you see a pattern here?)  They are a busy happy family.  Abby reminds me so much of both of you.  She is talented like mom, and has the drive of you dad.  What a combination.  Nothing stands in her way.  I am able to be around Dylan, Jake and Sam a lot of the time and love getting to know their personalities, and what makes them happy or sad.  They are amazing children.  Nick is our professor, touching the lives of many young cadets at the air force academy.  Whitney and Jason are the greatest, as they presented us with our only granddaughter, Wren.  How we love and cherish our little beauty.   

Everyone is busy with careers, raising children, and good works.  They are all successful and happy.  Jim, James and his boys have been back to the Masters once.  We go out once a year to watch the boys play baseball and there's nothing better than watching them for two weeks.  We've travelled, we've enjoyed concerts with music that always makes me wish you were there with me, loving the music as I do.  We've made improvements on our home, always grateful for the talent mom past on as I make something out of nothing.  Jim is serving in the Bishopbric right now.  He is so patient and kind with the issues that come before him. We are most happy when surrounded by our kids and grandkids.

Our lives have not always gone as we would want them to.  We've had health issues, retirement before we expected..other problems that get in our way.  But because of the things you taught us we move forward with faith and a knowledge that all will be well.  We are blessed with wonderful children and grandchildren and a knowledge that the gospel is true.  Thank you for leading the way.  I love and miss you every day.  Thank you for being my mom and dad.  love, polly

Lessons From My Mother

I've been thinking a lot about my mom this week. 

 I had a decision to make and really wanted to talk to her. 

 I would have loved to hear her voice telling me what she thought I should do. 

 As I thought about her I imagined what she would say to me.  

Her most important priority was her family.  I think my mom had a bit of an adventurous streak in her.  

She was the one who killed the spiders, caught the mice, birthed the puppies,

rode on the rides at lagoon and disneyland. 

As the picture above shows she got up on that camel. 

 I'm sure dad was watching, as he did as she took care of the spiders, mice and rode the rides. 

 But she chose to stay at home and take care of us. 

 She was the quiet one, standing back so dad could shine.  

Some people may call that old fashioned in this day and age. 

 I call it unselfish.  

She loved us so much. 

 She was graceful, kind and good. I have tried so hard to be like her and come up short, 

but using her as an example keeps me always striving to be better.  

Thank you mom for leaving little bits of yourself behind.  

Your handwritten letters, your kind acts, your traditions, your love of the gospel and your family.

  When I am troubled or trying to make hard decisions,

 all I have to do is think of you and your life and I usually get my answer.  

You've been gone for a long time..but because of the way you lived your life,

 you will always be with me.   

Pause..and be Happy

I wear a small necklace with the word "psala" engraved on it.

 In Hebrew it means "to pause."  I look at it often as I put it around my neck. 

 It reminds me as I go about my daily activities to stop and recognize what I am grateful for, to be more aware of the beauty  around me.  

In the summer, as I water my flowers it reminds me to stop and look at each one and be grateful for its different shape, color and height. 

 I think how each bloom adds to the beauty of my garden.  

The word reminds me to see the differences in my grandson's as I spend my days with them,

 or the little boys that I teach in my sunbeam class. 

 They all have unique personalities, with different things they want heard. 

 Everything these kids say makes me laugh,

and there might come a day when they will find their friends more interesting than their old grama.  

So I soak everything they have to say and do up.  

It is nice to "pause" and be grateful for these quieter, sweeter days.  

It's been cold and snowing quite a bit. 

 I so want to lay in the sun and feel its warmth on my skin,

yet the snow brings a greener garden and sweet smelling grass. 

 So when I spend my days in the pursuit of happiness it is good to just stop pursuing, 

to pause and just be happy.

DeSpain Family 2013 What a Wonderful World

To my family. Thanks for a wonderful year.  You have Blessed my life.
Love, your mom and grama

"Gratitude unlocks the Fullness of Life..."

 

I always try to keep a gratitude journal.  I like to remind myself of the little things that bring me joy. At this time of year when it gets dark earlier.  (something that I do not like, I am a sun lover)  I try and think what makes me happy when the sun goes down. 

Curling up with a blanket to watch my favorite show.  Lately it's been Blacklist on Monday night.  Makes me look forward to the start of the week.
Socks on my feet.
Warm baths.
Extra Quilts on my bed.

As the days get shorter, instead of dwelling on that fact.  I think and am grateful for  the coming holidays.  Loving Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

And of course when it snows.. being able to enjoy it inside from a warm home.

A few thoughts on gratitude as I go into this lovely month.

 

 

And one of my all time favorite songs. 
Love this...

 

Happy November.

 

Life Is Measured...

My friend gave me a frame with this saying on it. 
I thought this picture of Jim with Whitney on her wedding day was the perfect image for these beautiful words. 

Jim's face says it all as he hugs his beautiful daughter. 

 

 

 

Lately, as my days go by,

 it seems that I am just taking breaths til I go to bed at night.
 

I forget how many blessings...

 

 

 

 

Take my breath away.

"The fragrance always stays in the hand that give the Rose"

What a wonderful world. 

 That is a strange sentence to write down after reading the newspaper and listening to the news.  There are so many things going on that can bring a person down.
 I have had a particularly rough month.
 But even with all the heartache, physical illness and all kinds of other strange goings on..there is still so much of heaven everywhere.
 The contrast for me is so strong.
 When I get down or falter or go back a step or two,
 what keeps me going is the army that Heavenly Father chose to bless me with.
   I believe that Heavenly Father works through us.
 I am constantly amazed by the courage of people like Tyler Hallsey and his family and Burgen Jensen and her family.
 They give me strength.

 I live in an area that could only be called Heaven in the middle of a world in crisis.
  Here we have a bit of peace. 
A little bit of land with houses dotting the hill..and those homes are filled with people who all have problems,
 but who take care of each other
Such a pure love dwells here. 
The closeness that we feel is priceless.
 The love that ties us together is a rare thread, it doesn't break.
 All of the people give of themselves over and over again.  They never stop, they just keep on giving.  I have been the recipient of their generosity and love over and over.

 

"..have miracles ceased?  Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men."

 

Moroni 71: 29

 

Miracles have not ceased and angels do exist. 
They are all living in my neighborhood. 

 

"..charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever.."

 

Moroni 71:47

 

And these angels who live here have the charity that this scripture is talking about. 

My dear friends and neighbors have given out so many roses over the years. 
It smells like a rose garden as you walk down the street.

I am so grateful I live among these lovely people.

"Couldn't Do it Without You"

I can't let this week go by (or start) without paying tribute to Jim. 

 Another week...another back surgery..what else is new??

Jim takes it in stride.  Taking care of me. 

 Working, being in the bishopbric, keeping the house clean,
the wash done and my plants watered. 
He's had to be my nurse this week and done it with such kindness. 

 Thank you for always being there for me. 

 As Jake always says 

 "Couldn't do it without you!" 

My Pioneer Heritage

I think of my heritage all year long, but am most grateful during this month.  As I enjoy the comforts of my home and the beauty that surrounds me.  When I go to church in our comfortable buildings, when I go downtown and see the Temple, the conference center, the beautiful gardens that surround them..I am reminded again of how it all began.  I have relatives who were there in the beginning.  Who suffered, sacrificed and died so that I might enjoy the blessings that I have. In this modern world it is easy to forget, but I think it is good to remember.  It keeps me grounded and also grateful for what I have.    Here are a few entries in some of my family's journals as they settled the Salt Lake Valley and came across the plains.

 

"When we got inside the valley I think if there were ever a glad people it was us.  And when we got located the next thing was for us to get some wheat in the ground.  The land were very dry and I did not know what to do for the best.  So we sowed some wheat, the land being so dry it did not grow up til the spring." 

~Andrew Jackson Allen

 

Edward and Julia Ann Bagley were travelling with their children and another family across the plains.  "Cholera hit the wagon on June 20, Julia Anne got up in the morning and cooked breakfast for the family.  She came down with Cholera, which is a contagious infection of the intestines, and by sundown she had died and was buried about 40 miles from Mormon Grove.  This left the little band motherless and both men without wives.  Men of less faith would have turned back, but they continued on. 

 By Saturday,  two more Bagley children died."

 

"Seventy five years later Julia Anne and Edward's son, Alma, was 82 years old and he could still describe her death.  He said that the wolves howled and the morning doves mourned, and then he cried just as he had when he was a 7 year old boy."

 

"Julia Anne and Edward left a large family who had a great impact on the early Mormon settlements."

 

May 20, 1848

 

"There was a cold snap that froze the vines, and things in the ground were easily killed.  Now the fall wheat we had got was just beginning to put the head out of the ground and the frost killed it.  This was a trying time.  Those crickets also were eating at the fall wheat.  Many of us were out of bread .  Just now the seagulls came in flocks by the thousands and began to eat the crickets.  They would cover the fields and fill themselves and then they would fly to the water and drink, then they would vomit them up and go again and fill up again.  They seemed to repeat this time after time after time, and soon they destroyed the crickets in measure.  We contributed this to the hand of the Lord in our behalf.  If those gulls had not destroyed them, they would have destroyed all of our growing crops.  And that would have brought great suffering among the people."

~Andrew Jackson Allen

 

 

As I think about these people and many more, and all the hardships they went through. Then I think about the difficulties and adversity that we go through today.  Would I trade with them?  I don't know.  Their adversities were different.  Their hardships seemed only to make them stronger, more  determine to move forward.  Their families were of utmost importance.  I would like to meet these people, to listen to their stories from their mouths, to learn from them.
Will I measure up? 
 

 I am grateful to them for leading the way in my own family. 

 Because of the gospel, they came together and taught their children. 

Who became my grandparents and parents.

  They taught me. 

 And it continues. 

"Blessed honored Pioneer."

Summer Evenings

 I talked to my Uncle Mel on the phone this afternoon. 

 I love it when he calls. 

It's as if my dad is calling..their voices are so similar. 

 We are looking forward to a family gathering in July. 

As I talked to him about his plans for the reunion my mind is flooded with memories of those summer days when I was young.

  I loved being at my grandma's house sitting in that screened  front porch when it was really hot outside. 

There was an enclosed back porch off the kitchen where she dried her fruit and had bushels of apples. 

Down the steep, old stairs and out the screen door and into the huge backyard you could run down into the orchard. 

 Grandma had beautiful flowers in her yard and Grandpa's corn and cherries were the best. 

 There was a big brick fireplace where we always barbequed and of course, the fishpond! 

 

Grandma and Grandpa enjoyed their lives. 

 They were happy people. 

 Grandma loved the simple things in life..clean sheets hanging on the clothes line,

 freshly baked bread, flowers in her garden, freshly picked raspberries,

 or birds singing in the trees. 

She loved having her family around her. 

 

As I sit in my garden on these hot summer evenings, 

I remember those days. 

 I remember my heritage,

 I remember how valiant my grandparents were..how they loved the gospel,

 how well they faced their challenges and lived their lives. 

 What an example they are to me. 

 By remembering them,

I am encouraged to live a better life.

Dreams

A Lovely Day

I woke up yesterday to a beautiful sunrise..

and the sight of lilacs and snowballs.

Amazing!

 

 

      Then a visit from Wren and Whitney. 

 A laughing baby, lots of sunshine

 

and  some time in the garden.

What a lovely day.

"It is your Reaction to Adversity..."

These last couple of months we have had our share of adversity. 

When it rains it pours. 

After Jim lost his job we have had many rainy days. 

 But as cheesy as it sounds...the sun always comes out after the rain. 

 For as many down days as we have had..there have been days full of blessings. 

 In February Jim got called to the Bishopbric, which has been a great blessing in our lives. 

 We also had time in February to visit the PA gang which we usually don't do in the winter months.  Each time I go through a difficult time it makes me aware of those around me who have it worse and my compassion for them deepens. 

 Going through adversity continues to strengthen my faith. 

I love this quote. 

 I remember telling my son when he was going through difficult times that when things get really tough, give yourself a day or so to be sad, but then pick yourself up.. start thinking of what you have to be grateful for and get on with life. 

 Have faith that things will work out. 

 Things do work out one way or another. 

 

This last week another bump in the road. 

 My back has gotten to the point where the nerves have made it so I am limping. 

 My left leg is getting more numb and dragging quite a bit. 

 The doctor is worried that some of the damage to my nerves is beyond repair. 

 So I have been a bit down this past week,

 wondering again why..

why is it pouring rain yet again?

And then I go outside

I look at the signs of spring.

I see my lilac blooming

 (the very lilac that Maude gave me for my birthday so many  years ago) 

It thrives and blooms each year reminding me of that sweet lady who taught me to love trees and flowers and nature. 

 I hear the sound of my fountain, so soothing as I fix our evening meal.

I see these beautiful plants waiting to be put in the ground. 

 They will make my garden lovely.

I look out from my front porch and see this view and am uplifted. 

 

So with any adversity that goes on in my life,

 I don't even have to leave my home to find many wonderful things

 to make me grateful that I am alive. 

Things that strengthen my faith, and help me know that all will be well.

Turning 60 at the Sego Lily Spa

 

 

Yesterday I turned 60!!!! 

 I got up as I usually do

Got dressed..a little slower,

(due to my age)

 

Went out the door to take care of the grandchildren. 

When I got to my daughter's home a wonderful surprise waited for me there.

Three of my five kids were there with four of the eight grandchildren. 

They had fixed a delicious

breakfast. 

 After eating,

 they were sending me off to a spa!

FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!!

 

I have never spent the whole day in a spa.

Maybe being 60 isn't going to be that bad. 

 

 

I can't say enough about the

 Sego Lily Spa. 

The Facility is lovely and the treatments are all to die for. 

What a wonderful way to spend my day.

 

The spa day was fabulous,

 but the present I loved the most was the thought that went behind the gift, 

 I loved the notes from nieces, nephews, sisters, and my brother, kids,

 and grandkids, and my dear husband. 

Visits from my friends. 

 I love them all so much and am blessed to have these people in my life. 

 Getting older isn't bad at all when surrounded by so many blessings. 

Giggs Bagley-Lessons learned from my dad

I've had the flu the last couple of days.  As a result I'm laying around in bed, thinking a lot. 

 Last night I started thinking about dad.  I thought of all the things he taught me. 

He was part of the "greatest generation,"  growing up during the depression. 

He wrote,

"I consider it quite a blessing that we had no money.  We had to scratch.  When I finally got a dress coat, I was out of high school.  We were always in deep trouble with money.  We did any old thing to make ends meet. We picked strawberries, we picked cherries.  We couldn't wait until June and July when the fruit came in.  When we picked it we could get a quarter per case.  One summer we went up there to Mount Olympus and picked worms." 

 He learned  a hard work ethic and sticking together as a family from those early years.  He fought in WWII as a young man. 

I learned from him a deep love of this country.  To never take for granted all the wonderful opportunities and blessings this great nation has to offer. 

After the war he married our mom.

  A woman he cherished throughout his life.

  He was a devoted family man. 

He loved his June and us kids more than anything and gave us everything, not just monetarily. 

He gave us a magical childhood.  We had fun growing up. 

 There was lots of laughter..much joy.

He taught me about persistence. 

One of his favorite quotes was by Calvin Coolidge.

"Persistence

Nothing can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not:   nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not:    Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not:    The world is full of educated derelicts.

 

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

He certainly lived this. 

There were many examples where he taught me this principal.  While he worked as an optometrist, coached, approached any problem, but one in particular comes to mind. 

He always wanted to build a golf course. 

As a young boy, he would caddy for "a dollar a loop,"  at the Salt Lake Country Club, hoping for a dime tip so he could buy a hamburger. 

 When he got older and had some land in Parleys Canyon, he could just see a world class golf course rolling through those hills.

  It couldn't be just any old course, it had to be the best.

  So he just called Arnold Palmer and made it the beautiful world class course that it is today.  Every time I drive up that canyon  and see that golf course I am reminded of the lesson of persistence my dad taught. 

 Also, that one of following a dream. 

 

He certainly followed his dreams. 

Which leads me to another thing I learned from him. 

 Dad became very successful.  He always told me that all the" things" he had were nice and even fun to have, but they were just" things". 

 The trick was to remember that, and to be just as happy if you didn't have those things as you are when you do have them.

He proved this to me, when one day he lost most of what he had.  During that time he became great to me, because he lived what he preached. 

 He was as happy as before. 

 He continued to work, to be joyful, because he had what was of most importance to him. 

He had his wife, his family

 his faith..he could work. 

The challenge was before him, and he was no quitter.

 

I learned faith from him. 

 He had an unwavering faith and was a positive thinker. 

 He knew things would work out, as the scripture says.

 

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly."

 

D&C 90:24

 

I learned about imperfections from him.  For all that he accomplished, he was not perfect.  No man is.  Jesus Christ is the only person who has ever been perfect on this earth.  But I learned that you can always keep trying, I learned to not let imperfections get in the way, to strive to be better, to learn and to move on striving to be a better more compassionate person. 

 

Mostly I learned from my dad, that family is the most important thing this world has to offer.  For all the trials he overcame, when he lost his June, I think that one was just one that was too big for him, yet he did have his kids and grandkids to surround him with their love and that was the greatest blessing to him.  Because of his love for them, those grandkids circled around him and poured out love unimaginable. 

 

Thank you dad for these and many more valuable life lessons. 

love, polly

 

 

(just a little of Giggs and June's posterity-still having fun and carrying on as they would have us do)