Aging- A Glorious Secret

"There's this youth culture...it really discards people once they reach a certain age.  I actually think that people are so powerful and interesting - women, especially - when they are older.  We've got so much to say, but popular culture is so reductive that we just talk about whether we've got wrinkles, or whether we've put on weight or lost weight, or whether we've changed our hairstyle.  I just find that shallow."  ~Annie Lennox

Not so in this neighborhood where I live surrounded by so many incredibly elegant, talented women. They are so beautiful in so many different ways.  It is because of how they have lived and what they have lived through.  Their beauty radiates through their eyes and in their smiles.  They have accumulated wisdom that only life can give you.  I find great comfort being around these lovely women.  

I have been walking in the early mornings with a few of these 'girls'.  

January can be cold when you live so close to the mountains, but we get up early and get ourselves moving!  One of our group has had a stroke, two have pacemakers, one of those nearly died before she got hers, and I couldn't breathe for three years.  

We have always cared for each other during those times, and also during emotional upsets.  

And so we marvel that we are out walking at all! 

 We notice the blue sky, the sun when it comes out from behind the mountains. 

 We notice every beautiful thing as we walk, because we have lived and we are so grateful for each other, for our surroundings and for the fact that we are actually walking!  Oh, what a wonderful world.  How much better to be on this end of things. To know what we know. 

 It's almost like having a glorious secret. We'd like to share it with our younger sisters, friends, daughters... but we can't.  

For they must live it. 

 Then they will know.

  "Growing old is a mandatory process. For women, for a period of time, we might even resist aging as we try our hardest to fight off wrinkles and hang on to the physical beauty of our faces.  Yet, getting old is a natural process where things are slowing down, and you'll begin to see that the sparkle in your heart and the twinkle in your eyes make you beautiful in a way that's not achievable in youth. 'Age' is the acceptance of a term of years.  But maturity is the glory of years."

Pause..and be Happy

I wear a small necklace with the word "psala" engraved on it.

 In Hebrew it means "to pause."  I look at it often as I put it around my neck. 

 It reminds me as I go about my daily activities to stop and recognize what I am grateful for, to be more aware of the beauty  around me.  

In the summer, as I water my flowers it reminds me to stop and look at each one and be grateful for its different shape, color and height. 

 I think how each bloom adds to the beauty of my garden.  

The word reminds me to see the differences in my grandson's as I spend my days with them,

 or the little boys that I teach in my sunbeam class. 

 They all have unique personalities, with different things they want heard. 

 Everything these kids say makes me laugh,

and there might come a day when they will find their friends more interesting than their old grama.  

So I soak everything they have to say and do up.  

It is nice to "pause" and be grateful for these quieter, sweeter days.  

It's been cold and snowing quite a bit. 

 I so want to lay in the sun and feel its warmth on my skin,

yet the snow brings a greener garden and sweet smelling grass. 

 So when I spend my days in the pursuit of happiness it is good to just stop pursuing, 

to pause and just be happy.

Enjoy the Marvelous Journey-a lesson from my mom

These last few days, I've found myself feeling a little down

Life goes along and I feel extremely blessed, yet things do pile up. 

 I can usually deal, but I've got lots to do and then my back flares up and puts me down.

 (literally)

 So irritating..so as I was wallowing I just happened to open a book of my mom's. 

 It was her outline for Relief Society lessons. 

 I just happened to open it to a lesson written just for me

(was this by chance..or is mom watching over me?) 

 

Anyway, as I read through the lesson I could hear my mother as if she was talking to me.

The lesson was titled

 "Making Effective Use of Present Circumstances." 

Basically the lesson teaches us (me) to be happy in the present,

 to not look for something to happen down the road. 

 Mom tells how wise Merlin gave King Arthur good advice when the King was feeling low. 

"The best thing for being sad, said Merlin, is to learn something. 

That is the only thing that never fails." 

 

So I need to stop and ask myself,

 "what am I suppose to learn in my present circumstance?" 

 How can I improve myself and my life right now? 

 

She told of a young girl who was having trouble living in a far away land being newly married. 

 The young girl wanted to give up and come home. 

Her mother wrote her a short message -

"Two men look out from prison bars; one saw mud, the other saw the stars."

The girl realized from this brief message that she needed to change the way she was looking at things and she would be happy.

 

She includes these quotes.  "Oliver Wendell Holmes said:  Many people die with their music still in them.  Why is this so?  Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live.  Before they know it, time runs out.  Tagor expressed a similar thought in these words: I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung."

 

President Kimball, "My plea therefore is this: Let us get our instruments tightly strung and our melodies sweetly sung.  Let us not die with our music still in us.  Let us rather use this precious mortal probation to move confidently and gloriously upward toward the eternal life."

She ends the lesson saying,

 "Our challenge then is to see life as a whole, to discover the wonders of the present and to enjoy the marvelous journey."

She certainly enjoyed every minute of her journey!

I'm grateful to my angel mother who is still teaching me how to live. 

She continues to watch over me, she continues to be an example to me..what a blessing she continues to be in my life.

Reflections on Age

In a little over six weeks I will be turning 60. 

 I've decided it's time to let go of a few things that I don't think are going to happen. 

 I don't think I will ever be one of those lovely tall(??) skinny elegant women who age gracefully with long, beautifully greying hair. 

 I don't think I'll ever get my shelves relined,

 I don't know that I'll ever sit leisurely by a pool reading papers...

and I don't think my kitchen will ever look like the picture above. 

 It's time to accept myself as I am today. 

This young girl is gone. 

 Gone is the tiny figure, the smooth skin, the energy that a younger woman has.  

 

 Although this may seem somewhat depressing and a bit sad, it truly isn't. 

 For as I've aged I've been learning lessons. 

 I've been taught by the those I am closest to.

My friendships are more precious because we've known one another for so long and been through so much together. 

 Each relationship I have deepens as the years go by. 

 As I make mistakes I gain wisdom and hopefully strive to become a better person. 

 I feel that I am a much more compassionate person than that young girl was..she hadn't really been tested yet. 

 

 Growing older isn't so bad if you think about what has been gained (and if you don't look at old pictures). 

 Growing older is about  acceptance.  There's always room for improvement. life certainly isn't over yet..but it's good to learn to be happy with the way things are.. being content, appreciating the wisdom gained and all the lessons learned.  Enjoying simple things..taking time to be grateful for all the blessings I have been given.  Enjoying my beautiful grandchildren.  Having perspective.  Knowing what is important. 

"Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within."

 

~Mary Lou Cook

Who is in Charge???

Last Friday I brought Dylan home for a little late night fun with us. 

 It was the start of a busy weekend. 

He played with Gramps, watched a little TV and then crawled into our big bed with me,

 (which he loves...the pillows and feather comforter are soooo soft.) 

 There he listened to a few lullabies and drifted off to sleep. 

 It was pretty much the only idylic part of the last few days.

 

Usually even the most organized and best laid plans don't go without something happening to mess it up just a bit.  Take my post from Saturday night about my Sunbeam class. 

Of course as plans and lessons are laid out it is always with the best intentions, until you are faced with a group of three year olds. 

 (you'd think I'd know this, since this is the average age of who I deal with 90 percent of my life.)

I had a well planned lesson. 

Beautiful valentine cookies on a stick,

 a valentine card for each child. 

 Stories, a game that went along with the lesson. 

 Music, snacks for when they get hungry, 

 their own little cup for a sip of water, a flannel board story where they helped.

 

 That's where the organization ended.

 

At 1:40 when our primary started

the chaos began. 

 It is the afternoon so these little ones start out a little droopy anyway,

 by the time they get to class half are saying "I'm tired"

(That is if they can even talk!) 

One child tried to escape out the window,

another little boy just wanted to eat the whole class time. 

 He was not interested in anything except when he would get fed next. 

another layed down on the floor

another is eating his shirt

(not the one who is hungry) 

 

My class is broken up into a number of increments to keep their attention. 

 I'll need to double those increments in the future.

 (And practice doing cartwheels and standing on my head to keep their attention.)

 

 To top everything off my contact was screwy and I couldn't see anything,

so my picture story with the storylines on the back of the pictures was totally made up,

 because I couldn't see it, 

 (I had read it a number of times, so I had the jist of the story). 

 

 The title of the Lesson was "My Heavenly Father and Jesus love me." 

 Each part of the lesson reiterated this.  I had them repeat it back to me, so if they remembered nothing else from the lesson they would remember that. 

 When I asked one little boy what the lesson was about,

 he said,

"cookies."

 (Which little boy do you think said that?)  

 I had given him about three tiny oreos and as I gave them to him I said

"who loves you?" answer: Heavenly Father and Jesus.

 Then they got a cookie. 

 

 One fell asleep in my arms during sharing time and another was just about there as she snuggled  close. 

 Hopefully they know I love them and will feel loved and secure when they come to primary.

On to other adventures! 

Yesterday Dylan was shown who the boss was by Sam. 

 Sam is usually sweet and good to Dylan, but he was having an off day yesterday and making sure that Dylan knew who was in charge

 (and it wasn't me). 

Today we had Dylan and Wren over here. 

I guess Dylan, being the older, bigger child was going to show Wren a few things. 

 He did play pretty well with her, showing her his socks,

but explaining to her who is in charge

of all the toys.

..and it isn't Wren. 

I've decided no matter what we grown ups do,

 the kids are really running the show.

Road to Grace

Taken from 

"Gift from the Sea"

"I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, "May the outward and inward man be one." I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.
Vague as this definition may be, I believe most people are aware of periods in their lives when they seem to be "in grace" and other periods when they feel "out of grace," even though they may use different words to describe these states. In the first happy condition, one seems to carry all one's tasks before one lightly, as if borne along on a great tide; and in the opposite state one can hardly tie a shoestring. It is true that a large part of life consists in learning a technique of tying the shoestring, whether one is in grace or not. But there are techniques of living too; there are even techiques in the search for grace. And techniques can be cultivated. I have learned by some experience, by many examples, and by the writings of countless others before me, also occupied in the search, that certain environments, certain modes of life, certain rules of conduct are more conducive to inner and outer harmony than others. There are, in fact, certain roads, that one may follow. Simplification of life is one of them. Simplification of outward life is not enough. It is merely the outside. But I am starting with the outside. I am looking at the outside of a shell, the outside of my life - the shell. The complete answer is not to be found on the outside, in an outward mode of living. This is only a technique, a road to grace."

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have read this book so many times I cannot count. It means different things at different times in my life. This particular part is so meaningful, because I have been in both stages, when I feel "in grace" and "out of grace". I have learned many of these lessons and know that simplifying and feeling calm within is a beginning of being on that road to grace. It is something that I have to continually work on or I end up on some trail far out of the way. I love the peaceful feeling I get when I read this beautiful book.

Learning from challenges

I am grateful for:

challenges,

 prayer,

 family,

little ones hugs,

email from Jack.

My Gratitude Journal

I have always tried to be positive, to show gratitude for all that I have.  It is something that is a part of who I am.  This past month I have been slipping a bit and need to recommit myself.  There are many things in my life that I cannot personally control.  I can try to remain healthy, but when illness hits, there is nothing to do but ride it out.  When some kind of adversity hits that is beyond my control,  I must also do the same.  When I feel down, there is nowhere to go but up.  When I feel hurt, it is up to me to get rid of those hurt feelings and think of someone else, someone who is in worse circumstances, then go and do something for them.  My feelings and the way I look at things are truly the only things I can control.  
So, I feel that I need to strive to pick myself up.  I need to remember back to when I was ill, when I thought that I would never be able to do anything again without my oxygen, and then realize how far I've come.   I need to go back to writing down the simple things I am grateful for.  I remember sometimes it was just that "the sun was out."  Yet what a miracle that is!  It is hard to get rid of the negatives and focus totally on what is good in this life.. yet there are so many things that are good.

1-The beautiful snow
2- A warm house
3- A comfortable bed
4- clean sheets
5- feather pillows

It's a start.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~Melody Beattie