Taken from 

"Gift from the Sea"

"I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, "May the outward and inward man be one." I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.
Vague as this definition may be, I believe most people are aware of periods in their lives when they seem to be "in grace" and other periods when they feel "out of grace," even though they may use different words to describe these states. In the first happy condition, one seems to carry all one's tasks before one lightly, as if borne along on a great tide; and in the opposite state one can hardly tie a shoestring. It is true that a large part of life consists in learning a technique of tying the shoestring, whether one is in grace or not. But there are techniques of living too; there are even techiques in the search for grace. And techniques can be cultivated. I have learned by some experience, by many examples, and by the writings of countless others before me, also occupied in the search, that certain environments, certain modes of life, certain rules of conduct are more conducive to inner and outer harmony than others. There are, in fact, certain roads, that one may follow. Simplification of life is one of them. Simplification of outward life is not enough. It is merely the outside. But I am starting with the outside. I am looking at the outside of a shell, the outside of my life - the shell. The complete answer is not to be found on the outside, in an outward mode of living. This is only a technique, a road to grace."

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have read this book so many times I cannot count. It means different things at different times in my life. This particular part is so meaningful, because I have been in both stages, when I feel "in grace" and "out of grace". I have learned many of these lessons and know that simplifying and feeling calm within is a beginning of being on that road to grace. It is something that I have to continually work on or I end up on some trail far out of the way. I love the peaceful feeling I get when I read this beautiful book.

Life is like a Quilt

Grama Bagley enjoyed her life.  She was a happy person.  She loved simple things. 

 Clean sheets hanging on the clothes line, freshly baked bread, flowers in her garden, raspberries from her raspberry patch. 

 She always had a big quilt on in the living room of her old house.  

Her neighbors would stop by for a visit and stitch for a bit. 

 Their creations were wonderful..not always perfect, but that was the charm of quilting in those days.  It was about getting together with friends, making something with your own hands, and then giving it to someone you loved.  

Grama was something of an artist.  

She didn't paint or anything.  But she baked with an artistic hand, as well as those quilts that came out of her living room. 

 And oh..her garden.  It looked like a painting.  

Grama loved having her family around her and was always ready for a song.

  Her love of music, good food, and nature are ingrained in me, as well as her love of the gospel. 

How I admire the way she met her challenges and lived her life.  

I would  have loved my grama Adelila to be able to sit down with my two beautiful daughters.  Wouldn't Grama love to sit down with Abby in her quilting room?  She would marvel at her two huge long arm quilting machines!  

She wouldn't believe all the quilts Abby does for others.  

They would chat about fabrics, colors and designs.  How thrilled Grama would be in Abby's talent and work ethic. 

 Abby also inherited a great business head.  She's full of drive and persistence.  

She works so hard, but always puts her family first, which is what Grama always did. 

 Abby fills her heart with what's important and is done with the rest.   

Whitney reminds me of Grama in an artistic way. 

 Her love of nature and the way she sees beauty in all things.  

She moves with grace and is a natural mother. 

 When she teaches yoga, she transforms into a different person. 

 So self assured and in control of the situation she is in. 

When grama was instructing a cooking class she knew exactly what she was talking about and was very much the expert. 

 Just as Whitney is.  

Yet they have those mothering qualities that are so much the same.  

It is so interesting to me how these two girls could have so many things that remind me of their great grandmother, and yet they didn't know her at all.  

Whitney has a sentimental side to her that reminds me of Grama. 

 Here is a quote from Grama's journal describing how she fell when she was losing her home.

"I have become attached to this place.  I love the flowers, trees and shrubs we have struggled to raise from a veritable rock pile."  

Whitney would feel just this way.  I know.  

I am so grateful for my two girls.  For the kind of women they have become.  

I know there are many that have had a hand in teaching and influencing them.  But they are very much their own person.  

Lovely, kind, unselfish, talented, hardworking, so many attributes. 

 I know their grandmother would love to know them and be so proud, as would many others would.  

How blessed I am to have all of them in my life.

Aging- A Glorious Secret

"There's this youth culture...it really discards people once they reach a certain age.  I actually think that people are so powerful and interesting - women, especially - when they are older.  We've got so much to say, but popular culture is so reductive that we just talk about whether we've got wrinkles, or whether we've put on weight or lost weight, or whether we've changed our hairstyle.  I just find that shallow."  ~Annie Lennox

Not so in this neighborhood where I live surrounded by so many incredibly elegant, talented women. They are so beautiful in so many different ways.  It is because of how they have lived and what they have lived through.  Their beauty radiates through their eyes and in their smiles.  They have accumulated wisdom that only life can give you.  I find great comfort being around these lovely women.  

I have been walking in the early mornings with a few of these 'girls'.  

January can be cold when you live so close to the mountains, but we get up early and get ourselves moving!  One of our group has had a stroke, two have pacemakers, one of those nearly died before she got hers, and I couldn't breathe for three years.  

We have always cared for each other during those times, and also during emotional upsets.  

And so we marvel that we are out walking at all! 

 We notice the blue sky, the sun when it comes out from behind the mountains. 

 We notice every beautiful thing as we walk, because we have lived and we are so grateful for each other, for our surroundings and for the fact that we are actually walking!  Oh, what a wonderful world.  How much better to be on this end of things. To know what we know. 

 It's almost like having a glorious secret. We'd like to share it with our younger sisters, friends, daughters... but we can't.  

For they must live it. 

 Then they will know.

  "Growing old is a mandatory process. For women, for a period of time, we might even resist aging as we try our hardest to fight off wrinkles and hang on to the physical beauty of our faces.  Yet, getting old is a natural process where things are slowing down, and you'll begin to see that the sparkle in your heart and the twinkle in your eyes make you beautiful in a way that's not achievable in youth. 'Age' is the acceptance of a term of years.  But maturity is the glory of years."

Making my New Year Beautiful..

These are a few things I need to do throughout this year.  

GRATEFUL FOR CHRISTLIKE FRIENDS

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." 

~Arabian proverb

I am blessed to have such friends and family members. I have posted many times how fortunate I am to live where I live.  To live among people who are kind, loving and Christlike. 

I was reading a talk by President Uchtdorf last night.  Some of his comments are so applicable to my friends.  I would like to quote him. 
"To follow Christ is to become more like Him.  It is to learn from His character.  This process is very complex and very simple at the same time.  Developing Christlike attributes in our lives is not an easy task, especially when we move away from generalities and abstractions and begin to deal with real life.  The test comes in practicing what we proclaim.  The reality check comes when Christlike attributes need to become visible in our lives - as husband or wife, as father or mother, as son or daughter, in our friendships, in our employment, in our business, and in our recreation.  Christlike attributes include knowledge and humility, charity and love, obedience and diligence, faith and hope.  These personal character qualitites stand independent of the organizational status of our Church unit.  Christlike attributes are gifts from God and cannot be developed without His help." 

My friends are not perfect, but they strive to live Christlike lives.  They know what love and charity is and they live it.  There is a feeling of security living among these people for come what may, we help and lift one another. 

President Uchtdorf continues:  Christlike attributes are the basics.  They are the fundamental principles that will create the wind beneath our wings.  As we develop Christlike attributes in our own lives, step-by step, they will "bear [us] up as on eagles' wings"  (D&C 124:18). " 

These lovely people bear me up.  I have learned more about kindness, acceptance and unconditional love through my associations than through any manuel. It is the actions and example that teach.  How could I been so blessed to build our home and raise our wonderful children  here 37 years ago?  To raise a family, to learn and grow from the example of people such as these? 

Simple Blessings

I am  grateful for the simple things.

  I could go on forever about the simple blessings that enrich my life. 

 I just have to sit out in my garden for a few moments as the sun goes down,
 feeling the autumn air as it turns my leaves from green to dark yellow and red.

I just have to snip the last flower from my
 garden to brighten up a spot on my table.

I just have to look at the changing seasons, knowing with a surety that spring will come again, as it always does.
And while I wait I will enjoy the fall colors and the winter snow. 

Simple blessings surround me.
My husband's love, a call from a son or daughter, feeling small arms around my neck from a little one, soup from a dear friend, my lovely home, the beauties of nature.
 Simple is what my life is made up of.
 I count these blessings each day.

Thanksgiving Point, Pictures and grandkids

Had a lovely Friday with Abby, Jake and Sam at Thanksgiving Point.

 They went down for some pictures and I decided to take a few of my own.  

The flowers are beautiful down there right now!

So were the kids!!!

I couldn't get enough of their cute smiles. 

 They cooperated for just about an hour.

  And when they were finished there was....

GREAT JOY!!!!

"Grandchildren, Sunshine to my Soul"

I was blessed with a heritage that continues to guide even as I grow older. 

 I am a grandmother now, and each day I think of my grandparents and the influence they had on me.  I loved being around them. 

 They taught me by their example.  

They were hard workers, they were funny, they were gardeners, they loved their families.  

They loved the gospel and taught me to love it too.

Nothing made my grandparents happier than when their grandchildren were around. 

We played in the orchard and among their flowers. 

 We sang and we were loved.  

We were taught values and what was right and wrong and why our pioneer ancestors came across the plains.

  We knew were we came from.

My parents continued that tradition. 

Showering great amounts of love onto their grandchildren. 

 They loved being with them.

 Showed them how to work how to play and enjoy life. 

 They too had strong testimonies that carried them through happy and sad times. 

 They would be proud of their posterity.

These are my darlings. 

 I try to be the grandmother like those who preceded me.  

It's a different world.  

Things happen so quickly. 

 I love these grandchildren so much and am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of their lives. 

 I hope I can influence them for good as my grandparents did. 

 The most important thing is to love them.  

That part I have down!!

"Grandchildren..Sunshine to my soul"

Two Ways to Live Life

I heard a quote by a very wise young man the other day. 

 He was talking about answers to prayer. 

 He said,

 "There are two ways to live life... 

One way, is as if nothing is a miracle... another way, is as if everything is a miracle."

All I have to do is look around me,

and I realize that

 "Everything is a miracle."

"And Thank you for a House full of People I Love"

As I sit here tonight, I am so grateful for the last few weeks. 

 I love having my whole family together.  

We've had a lovely time while the DeSpain gang east has been visiting. 

 Makes us feel complete. 

Then to have Nick come for Fish Lake made everything that much better. 

 I don't know when the last time was that we all sat down for dinner together.  

Thanks to Tyler for making that happen. 

 Everyone is busy, everyone is different, but that's what makes up a family. 

 We all love each other regardless of our differences, and that unconditional love is what keeps our family close.   So I guess summer vacation is coming to a close. 

 We have been together and made wonderful memories that I will cherish.

"And thank you for a house full of people I love."
~Terri Guillemets

A Visit With Some Fine Ladies

When I need a bit of uplifting or feel a little tired, I sometimes feel the need to talk to my mother or one of my grandmothers.  

They were so comforting.  They also had a lot of wisdom.  

They lived through a lot, but somehow always managed to stay upbeat, kind, and loving. 

 What a great example the were to me. 

 Fortunately for me I have bits and pieces of them. 

 Not just my memories, but tangible things that remind me of them.  

Some of those things are fairly valuable, but the most priceless things are their handwriting.  

I feel their thoughts bring me closer to them than any "thing" they left behind. 

 Grandma Bagley's journal is full of inspiring stories of how she lived through the depression, the loss of her beloved oldest son, and then the war when she sent her two remaining sons.  

What strength she had.  Her testimony of the gospel is a constant in her life and something I will always respect and love her for, because of the way she lived her life. 

 Grandma Lundgren was just as strong and had such a cute sense of humor which is evident in her little notes stuck into books.  I love her remarks on life!!

 And of course there is my mom, who's love of her family, respect for her heritage and her testimony guided me gently throughout my life.  

I love to see her thoughts written down in her distinct handwriting.  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me today!! 

Relaxing in the Garden- Glorious Summer

Can't believe we're almost halfway through glorious summer. 

 I love warm summer nights. 

 My upper garden has been a mess of vines for the last few years.  

This year we cleaned it out and added quite a bit more space. 

 So nice to go up my steps and hideout while reading a book or just star gazing.

  Perfect spot to relax in the evening.

I've always enjoyed the concept of "rooms" in my garden.  

Another lovely place to enjoy warm evenings is my back patio.  

Sometimes I just sit and listen to those wonderful summer sounds.

Something fun going on in the gardens around my neighborhood is our weekly lemonade gathering.

  Once a week we gather and enjoy a cool glass of lemonade, visit and just enjoy each others flowers. 

 It's nice to stop once in awhile and relax with good friends.

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on

 a summer's day,

 listening to the murmur of the water,

 or watching the clouds float across the sky,

 is by no means a waste of time."

~John Lubbock

Flag Day, Mom's Birthday and a Shout out to all the Fathers!!!

It's a beautiful June 14th.  Flag Day.. also my mother's birthday. 

Missing her and wishing her a Happy day. 

 I am so grateful for her loving ways.  She was thoughtful, unselfish and kind

Always putting others before herself.  What a great example for all of us.

She lived a full and happy life.

 I am so blessed to have her for my mom.

I am also blessed to have Jim as the father and grandfather to my children and grandkids. 

 I couldn't find anyone more dedicated or loving to his family. 

 He loves them and wants nothing more than to spend time with them. 

 He has and continues to work hard to serve us.  

He's also the most handsome grampa around!!!

I am amazed at the dads in our family.  

They are totally involved in the raising of their kids.  

are such great fathers.  So grateful for their commitment to their families. 

 They love them and are raising a bunch of great kids!

I was also blessed to have the world's best dad. 

He was so much fun. 

 He taught me so much about enjoying life, overcoming obstacles, and staying positive.

  I think of him everyday.  

Happy Father's Day to all these incredible men!!!

Visiting the PA DeSpain Gang

 We've had a great time here in Philadelphia.

Becky and I hit the pavement, doing some serious shopping,
while the guys went golfing.

 We've been able to watch number 10 (Hogan) play some baseball.

 We've seen beautiful gardens

We've strolled through history.

The best is spending time with these guys.  Watching them as they go through their everyday lives.  It's so much fun seeing them come and go.  Love being with the eastern despain gang.  Sorry that our time with them is coming to an end.

I Love being a Mom

I love being a Mom. 

 How could a mother be so blessed to be given the opportunity to have such great kids. 

 Having children can be a difficult, exhausting job, but it is also the most noble and grand adventure that a woman can ask for.

  I chose to have five children. 

 I have been blessed over and over again with the birth and life of each child.  

What I have done for them is nothing  compared to what they have given me.  

I always felt it was important to give my kids a feeling of security and warmth as they moved forward in their lives. 

 I had that growing up and I wanted them to have that same sort of childhood.  

My thoughts wander to summer time.  

(The best time to make memories)  

We spent many longs days at the racquet club.  Oh, those lazy fun days when we'd pack up a lunch and a few snacks and be gone for hours.  

Swimming, getting their little bodies warm by laying on the hot cement, that creamy frozen yogart. 

 Packing up to go home just in time for little league or a game of kick the can.  

I've never done anything that noteworthy, I've never been in the limelight.  

But I have rocked and sung to my children. 

 I have taken them swimming, played with them and watched them grow in to adulthood, 

cheered and encouraged them.

  I have loved them.  

I have been a mom. 

 I would rather sing and tell stories to my kids and grandkids than to any audience in the world. 

 When I feel my little grandson's arms wrap around my neck, 

when they cuddle in my lap and entertwine their little fingers in mine and say "hold me grama polly", I think my decision all those years ago.

 That of being a mother.

 It  may have been the hardest, most exhausting, most heartbreaking, ..most rewarding experience. 

 I chose wisely.

I Went from Sunbeams to Choir Director!! OH NO!!!

When I was a little girl, my grandmother was in our ward.  I remember sitting by her in church.  As she sung the hymns she would point to the alto line and have me sing along with her.  It is my first memory of singing.

I've always loved to sing.  I sang while my dad played the piano.  I loved to belt out "Won't you come Home Bill Bailey," or "Show Me the Way to Go Home."  I sang in the church choir from the time I was twelve and always in school choirs.  When I was fifteen I was the youngest member of the Mormon Youth Choir.  

.  As I've said,  I've always loved singing.  

When we moved to this ward 36 years ago I immediately joined the choir. 

 It has been a blessing in my life.  This ward has the best ward choir around!  So many talented musicians living so close to one another.  

What a blessing.

I love to sing, but am not a great musician.  I never was good at timing.  I've always had to sit next to my neighbor, Betty, so I could follow her and get my notes right.  

And I hate to be in front of people.  I like to be in the back. 

 (I'm short, so it's easy to get lost among the taller choir members.)

Singing in the choir is my joy.

Not standing in FRONT!!!!

After teaching five little boys in my Sunbeam class I didn't think I would find 

a calling more challenging ..

But my new calling is much more challenging, terrifying, headache giving than any five boys in any Sunbeam class could ever be!!!  

I am now the Choir Director in our Ward. 

Nothing prepared me for this!  

I felt that I could do most callings in the church with my eyes closed.  

Well, I certainly can't close my eyes in this calling..except when I'm praying, which will be all the time now.  

The one thing I am sure of.  Heavenly Father is there for us when we are serving Him.  

(I'm counting on it!)

Easter Egg Hunt, Darling Grandchildren..Family..I am a Blessed Woman

What a wonderful Easter!  And so fun to celebrate Jim's birthday on this special day.  Nothing better than to have these cute kids over for the annual Easter Egg hunt.  Just wish we could have the other half..Well later on in the summer.

We watched the kids hunt for eggs, play and have fun.  We can't get enough of our new little addition.  We are so grateful for all of these precious grandchildren.

And of course it wouldn't be a summer gathering without a little baseball.  Hey, PA Gang, we need a little coaching here.  

What a lovely Day.

I Love Jim's Brown eyes & and whole bunch more..Happy Birthday

April 20th is Jim's birthday.
Here are a few things I love about him.

I love how he takes care of me.

I love how he cares for his children.

I love how he smiles when he's around the grandkids.

I love watching him watch the grandson's play baseball.

I love how he can fix anything.

I love how he builds what I dream.

I love watching him mow the lawn.

I love travelling with him.

I love how he serves others.

I love how he treated his mother.

I love that he is emotional.

I love that he is steady.

I love that he is loyal.

I love that he is honest. 

I love that he loves our family.

I love his grin.

I love his beautiful brown eyes.

I love you.

Have a Happy Birthday.  

A Letter to my Parents

A letter to my parents,

Well, Mom and Dad..It's been quite a while since you've been with us.  Lots has happened.  You taught us so well by the way you lived.  You were loving, funny and unselfish.  You were devoted to the gospel and to your family.  You made a mark on so many lives.  Mom, you in your quiet, graceful, loving way.  And dad, you as the leader, our funny, positive, full of fun dad.  How were we so blessed to be born to you guys?  Since you've been gone, the children have grown, making lives for themselves.  You saw two of Jamey's boys, but since then he and Becky added two more and convinced them all that baseball and golf were the best ways to occupy their time.  

You would love watching them as they excel in their activities.  They are such good boys.  Tyler finally found his true love.  He and Melanie have two beautiful boys, as beautiful as their mother. Tyler treats her just as you treated mom.  (He was trained well).  Abby and Mike are busy with their two boys..(can you see a pattern here?)  They are a busy happy family.  Abby reminds me so much of both of you.  She is talented like mom, and has the drive of you dad.  What a combination.  Nothing stands in her way.  I am able to be around Dylan, Jake and Sam a lot of the time and love getting to know their personalities, and what makes them happy or sad.  They are amazing children.  Nick is our professor, touching the lives of many young cadets at the air force academy.  Whitney and Jason are the greatest, as they presented us with our only granddaughter, Wren.  How we love and cherish our little beauty.   

Everyone is busy with careers, raising children, and good works.  They are all successful and happy.  Jim, James and his boys have been back to the Masters once.  We go out once a year to watch the boys play baseball and there's nothing better than watching them for two weeks.  We've travelled, we've enjoyed concerts with music that always makes me wish you were there with me, loving the music as I do.  We've made improvements on our home, always grateful for the talent mom past on as I make something out of nothing.  Jim is serving in the Bishopbric right now.  He is so patient and kind with the issues that come before him. We are most happy when surrounded by our kids and grandkids.

Our lives have not always gone as we would want them to.  We've had health issues, retirement before we expected..other problems that get in our way.  But because of the things you taught us we move forward with faith and a knowledge that all will be well.  We are blessed with wonderful children and grandchildren and a knowledge that the gospel is true.  Thank you for leading the way.  I love and miss you every day.  Thank you for being my mom and dad.  love, polly

Lessons From My Mother

I've been thinking a lot about my mom this week. 

 I had a decision to make and really wanted to talk to her. 

 I would have loved to hear her voice telling me what she thought I should do. 

 As I thought about her I imagined what she would say to me.  

Her most important priority was her family.  I think my mom had a bit of an adventurous streak in her.  

She was the one who killed the spiders, caught the mice, birthed the puppies,

rode on the rides at lagoon and disneyland. 

As the picture above shows she got up on that camel. 

 I'm sure dad was watching, as he did as she took care of the spiders, mice and rode the rides. 

 But she chose to stay at home and take care of us. 

 She was the quiet one, standing back so dad could shine.  

Some people may call that old fashioned in this day and age. 

 I call it unselfish.  

She loved us so much. 

 She was graceful, kind and good. I have tried so hard to be like her and come up short, 

but using her as an example keeps me always striving to be better.  

Thank you mom for leaving little bits of yourself behind.  

Your handwritten letters, your kind acts, your traditions, your love of the gospel and your family.

  When I am troubled or trying to make hard decisions,

 all I have to do is think of you and your life and I usually get my answer.  

You've been gone for a long time..but because of the way you lived your life,

 you will always be with me.