Taking steps

If the shoe fits...wear it!
If the dream fits...step into it!
-Pam Farrel

Small steps taken
consistently add up in
a big way over time.
-Danna Demetre

I have done a lot of changing in the past few years and as I take each new step I am learning and growing in confidence. I watch as my daughters are "stepping out" and accomplishing great things. It is so fun to watch Abby as she puts fabric together and quilts, she has so many talents and is not afraid to try something new! Whitney is becoming more graceful each day as she learns more about yoga and teaches it at the University. They are both so creative as cooks and homemakers. They continue to take "steps" to improve themselves. What a joy to watch!

I love my children!

I just returned from a viewing. A friend in our neighborhood's son. As I hugged her and told her how sorry I was, she whispered in my ear, "Paula, go home and tell your children how much you love them." She was overcome by grief. This is the second child she has lost to a car accident. I can't imagine the pain she must be going through. I think my kids know how much I love them, how proud I am of them, but if they don't I am taking this opportunity to tell them and anyone else who looks at this blog that they are loved. In conference Elder Bednar said it upset him when people said from the pulpit that they didn't say "I love you" often and wanted to take the opportunity to tell their loved ones how much they loved them. He said we should be saying and showing our love constantly.(sorry Elder Bednar, that I am blogging my love to the worldwide web). When kids are little it is easier, because we can just scoop them up in our arms and with hugs and kisses proclaim our love. I think I tell little Jake 20 times a day that I love him and he returns the love! But when kids grow and are out of the home it is harder to show and share that love we feel. So I am going to make amends and show more often the love I feel for the businessman, husband, Father of 4, the salesman, sports fanatic and new husband, the busy working gal, quilter, mother and wife, the professor and writer, and the beautiful yoga instructor and wife. You are the light of my life. I love you!!!!! (I love your spouses too)

Nice Visit

Nick came home to visit this past weekend. It's been nice having him home. He got to see all the family. We got to hear stories of his teaching adventures at the airforce academy! And of course, with him telling the stories, they truly are adventures!

But, all good things come to an end, and he flies back today. He's got to keep those cadets in order! See you at Christmas!

The America my dad loved

I listen to a lot of what is going on now days. A lot of people think a lot of different things about the country and how it should be run. How things should be. Maybe it should be this way, maybe that way. I like history and so I always turn to the founding fathers, and continue to rely on their wisdom.
Last night I was going through some old pictures and letters and found three letters from my dad to my Grama Lundgren during WWII. So sweet. Telling how he felt about June. It made me think alot about what the United States meant to him.
I've had this article by Elie Wiesel for a long time, because I thought it was so excellent. Thought I'd share bits and pieces of it.

He says,"Even now, as America is in the midst of puzzling uncertainty, these words reflect my personal belief. For I cannot forget another day that remains alive in my memory: April 11, 1945. That day I encountered the first American soldiers in the Buchenwald concentration camp. I remember them well. Bewildered, disbelieving, they walked around the place, hell on earth, where our destiny had been played out. They looked at us, just liberated, and did not know what to do or say. Survivors snatched from the dark throes of death, we were empty of all hope - too weak, too emaciated to hug them or even speak to them. Like lost children, the American soldiers wept and wept with rage and sadness. And we received their tears as if they were heartrending offerings from a wounded and generous humanity. Ever since that encounter, I cannot repress my emotion before the flag and the uniform."

"Hope is the key word for men and women life myself, who found in America the stength to overcome cynicism and despair."

Dad was on the other side of the world fighting a different kind of war. He was born an American citizen, and always loved this country and the ideals this great nation stood for all the days of his life. He gave up years of his life as a young man to fight in WWII. He was lonely, bored, sick and tired and he wanted to get home and get on with his life. But he knew what he was doing was life altering for that family that he wanted to have when the war was over, and for generations to come. I am grateful to him for his sacrifice and for instilling in me the love I have for this beautiful nation and all that it gives to me. May we never forget the sacrifice of these great men and women and what it was for.

Angel Unaware Part III

" I can't count how many of the lovely ladies of the ward have brought homemade soup to my door. It was like having jars of love handed to me and my family."

" In this last October (2008) conference Elder Holland spoke in his talk of angels. He said "have angels ceased? Behold I say Nay. Angels are not just from the other side of the veil. They live in our neighborhoods." Well, I'll tell you (this is me talking not Elder Holland) they live in my neighborhood. They are you, my sisters. I live among angels. I live across the street from an angel (Betty D.) Angels live next door, angels live down the street, all around. You, my neighbors were placed here just for me, and I am so grateful each of you were prepared and live your lives so you could bless mine.

There was a day that I remember during my illness when I was in great need. I do not feel anything is by chance and so at this time in my life, my dear friends Pat and Teri have been my visiting teachers. We talk on the phone and see each other several times a week and so they don't always make official visits. But they do take care of me. I love them and they love me. They did happen to visit me on that particular day, another run to the hospital that probably saved my life. I write about these two sisters because they were inspired by the spirit and acted on it. As any of you would have done. They aren't just my friends, my golfing buddy, my budget shopper friend, my kids second mom, my tell anything in the world to, my walking partners, they are my sisters. They acted as Christ would have...with charity. "Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whosoever is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." None of us here on earth is perfect, but when we serve in His name we become as close to perfect as possible. On that day they took care of a sister in need to perfection. they were as close to the Savior as one could be here on earth. "Wherefore, my sisters, who have prayed unto the Father with all energy of heart, that you may be filled with his love; that when He shall appear we shall be like Him". Teri and Pat have His light shining through them. I will always love them, they are my sisters, as you are all my sisters.

The errand of angels is given to women;

And this is a gift that as sisters we claim.

To do whatsoever is gentle and human,

To cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

(taken from LDS hymnbook)

This holiday season our neighborhood with its lights and the glories of Christmas, will shine brighter for me than any other, because you beautiful women radiate love, charity and hope. Thank you for being my angels."

Angels Unaware Part II

As Sisters in Zion, we'll all work together;

The blessings of God on our labors we'll seek.

We'll build up His kingdom with earnest endeavor;

We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

(taken from the LDS hymn book)

You sisters have certainly earned the right to own this song! You truly are my sisters in this place we call Zion. Always building this small part of His kingdom with earnest endeavor. I believe we all strengthen one another when we are weary and weak. As I read through my journal I was amazed to see how I felt and how time after time you stepped forward (possibly with a little prompting from my mom) to help. I would like to share, from my journal, just how you worked as angels to cheer and bless me. For your kindness I can never repay.

"Jim and I have always been grateful we lived here in this neighborhood..never so much so as these past years. I knew I would need a strong group of women to help me through my life, and Heavenly Father, who by the way knows way more than me, knew I would especially need you women here in this ward. How grateful I am to live in such a wonderful place where sisters share their joy, their heartaches, their lives. Where sisters do not judge. where sisters help each other by their actions, by their love, by their obedience. In unity you sisters perform miracles every day. "

"I was so panicked, because I couldn't get my portable oxygen machine to work and the power was off so my regular machine didn't work, Colleen came over and helped. Colleen took me to the hospital, I couldn't breath, she's always so calm, she stayed until Jim got there. What a good friend."

"Val brought bread again today..I love her bread, I love Val."

"Teri went with me to the doctor and then took me to the hospital. It was really a hard day. The beginning of another long stay at the hospital. She can't possibly know what it meant to me to have her there. She is as dear to me as any sister could be."

"I was feeling so down today, Sue called just to see how I was doing. What a sweet friend."

"Pat took me to the doctor today. I felt like I was her 90 year old grandma as she helped me walk into his office. What would i do without Pat?"

" Here I am in the hospital again, Betty P bought me flowers. How did she know I love pink potted plants?"

I remember a day when I was praying, or rather having a long discussion with Heavenly Father. Just wondering if my condition was a permanent situation? I remember feeling really down and maybe a bit sorry for myself. The doorbell rang, and there was Barbara. I asked her how she knew that I needed her just at that moment and she told me that sometimes she would say a little prayer and then drive around the neighborhood until she felt a sense of where she should stop. She certainly was in tune that day. She listened and was led to me. I was so grateful that Barbara, as our Relief Society president let Heavenly Father work through her so she could by my angel that day. She let me know that He had a plan for me and that I just needed to hang on a bit longer.

last installment tomorrow

Angels Unaware

Conference this year talked alot about service. A few years ago I was sick and the ladies in my neighborhood did and continue to do tons of service! Last year I wrote a little tribute with thoughts from my journal and gave it to them for Christmas. I think I'll share it in a few installments. A few years earlier I had written a little book about the neighborhood using a quilt in it. This refers to that in the beginning.

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers:
for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
Hebrew 13:2

"Do you ever wonder where that beautiful quilt ended up? You know the one I wrote about a few years ago? The one that was woven together by the kind people of this ward. It settled about us ever so gently as we sang on Christmas. Well, I got away with that quilt and have been wrapped up in its wonderful warmth ever since. I didn't tell you before, but that quilt has a bit of magic in it. It made me well when I became sick, then again, I really don't think it is magic, but that it was stitched together by angels who have so much love in their hearts, that their very faith and how they act on that faith is what really made me well. Here is the story of those angels and the miracle they performed in my life: For years after my mom died I longed for one of those visits, oh you know the kind where you dream of the loved one and it seems really real and comforting or you feel the spirit in the Temple and you know they are ever so close . I missed my mom. She was my best friend and she was taken from me so quickly. I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. I wanted to feel her comforting touch or hear that loving voice just once more, but no such luck for me. I guessed my mom had left this world and was just too busy in Heaven and I'd just have to wait to see her again to feel that great love that only a mother can give. I wasn't close enough to the spirit or didn't know my mom as well as I thought. For she would never have left me, not for an instant, without a plan. It took a life threatening illness to open my eyes to the fact that she has always been here. Watching, loving and caring through each one of you. You were all faithful enough to be the angels who took care of me in such a loving way that it felt as if it could only be a mother's love. How grateful am I to you sisters for giving me this great gift.

As I drove around the neighborhood and wandered through my yard this fall, the color of the leaves seemed to jump out at me. Everything seemed more vibrant than I remember. Are the leaves really more colorful? Or am I just more aware this year? I was truly awake for the first time in a long time to the beauty that surrounded me. At this time last year I was slowly getting better from a nightmare of an illness that took three years of my life. Hooking me to machines, medications, doctors, hospitals. Leaving me depressed and wondering if I would ever be the same. As I gaze at the beautiful colors I can reflect on those years with a bit more clarity and I take the time now to "psala" which is an ancient Hebrew word I learned during my illness meaning to "to pause", and tell you, my sisters how you served me and through your love and charity saved me. Many times during the past three years I did not know if I had the energy or the spiritual strength to see me through this trial, and yet because of your very faithfulness time and again I received hope from the women of this ward. Your persistence in wanting to do what is right always comes shining through I would think to myself, I want to be calm like the Barbara's. Or be fearless like Christine, to have faith like Mary...I want to be a light like Kirsten and pray like Sue and Carolyn. I want strength like Eileen. I want to have the countenance of the Savior shine right through my face as it does Imogene's, Laurel's, Diane's,...And so I would try harder to get better, because of you, my beautiful sisters."

more later.

Happy Birthday Luke

Seven Years ago yesterday Jamey was up in the mountains hunting with his dad, when he got the call that Luke was about to be born! He got down the canyon as fast as he could (Becky and Luke were kind and waited for him), and so Luke joined his three other brothers, who couldn't wait to teach him how to throw a ball or swing a club!

Wow! what a looker he has grown up to be! And he has learned how to throw a baseball and swing a golf club like a pro!

AND he can keep up with those big brothers! What a great kid. Happy Birthday Luke! We love you.

Get Well!

Dee and Marty had a heart attack yesterday! I say they both did, because they are so close and in love that if one had a heart attack, the other certainly felt like they were having one too. What a lovely couple that I truly look to as happy. They compliment one another. They make each other laugh, they appreciate each other's talents and ability's. Dee was the one who actually had the attack, but I know that Marty felt like her heart was stopping just the same. Today, things see to have calmed down just a bit.

Here are some flowers to hopefully cheer you up and let you know you are loved and in my thoughts and prayers. You will come through this as you come through everything. Strong, ready to go forward, and together. I love you.